April 30, 2009

In 15 minutes or less . . .

::I know I've posted a lot of sweet stories about Jack lately, but don't be fooled. We're in one of the most trying times of parenthood right now (thus far, at least . . . seasoned parents are probably shaking their heads and laughing at me). With all of the sweetness and love we get from him also comes this disrespectful, awful behavior and I have NO IDEA where he's learned it. I just haven't figured out a way to accurately express my feelings about his defiant behavior without sounding like I'm complaining about him. I never want to sound like I'm ungrateful to have him in my life . . . because he's the most amazing kid I know. But right now, anything I'd write about the "terrible, awful, horrible twos" would probably wouldn't come across that way.

::I honestly am overwhelmed by the fact that I have to buy very few pieces of maternity clothes. I thought I'd have to buy a whole summer maternity wardrobe, since I had a winter/spring pregnancy with Jack, but I think I'll just have to buy a pair or two of capris and shorts. My sister in law is letting me borrow an entire bin of her clothes and Crystal sent me a box of her clothes. Folks, I'm set. This is such a relief to me. I'm so grateful.

I need to take another belly picture because I feel like my waist has grown an inch just since starting this post! My weekly "your baby this week" e-mail said the baby should be around 10 ounces. At Monday's ultrasound he was already 15 ounces. Ouch.

::I hit 1700 sales today. I hadn't really been keeping track since I hit 1000 and it caught my eye today and I was amazed. To all of you who have purchased designs, or sent people to my shop, or have simply encouraged me . . . THANK YOU!

I booked another photo session today, too, and I'm wondering how long I'll be able to do this. I booked one for July before I realized that I'll be 7 1/2 months pregnant. I mean, I lay on my belly for a lot of photos and on Easter, I felt pretty awkward laying on my side and trying to snap photos. I'll just have to figure out a different set up. I'm definitely losing a bit of my flexibility . . .

::Between the swine flu and the economy, I'm going to develop an ulcer. We're going to Chicago this weekend, but I heard someone on the news say that they recommend avoiding public transportation. But I don't want to pay for parking everywhere. Ugh. And the economy . . . when I watch the news, I feel like living in Michigan is like being on a sinking ship. Another 21,000 layoffs at least - and for every one layoff in the auto industry about 4 people are laid off in related industries. It's pretty grim. I feel like I know more people who have been laid off than I do people who have jobs.

::I need to figure out what to do for Jack's birthday party. It was such an afterthought last year, and I pulled it all together in just a few days. I'd like to have a little more prep time this time around and maybe put a little more thought into it. I've been doing birthday party invitations for kids having parties in June, and Jack's party will be the 25th of May and I don't even know what I want to do for it yet! Baseball theme? Numbers theme (since counting to 10 . . . excluding the number 5 . . . is one of the things he likes to show off the most)? Finding Nemo theme? I have no idea . . . I'm open to suggestions.

I'm not sure which was cuter . . .

. . . telling Jack that I loved him more, to which he responded, "Not possible."


. . . just now hearing him singing "how sweet grace, amazing sound" through the monitor.

April 29, 2009

Baby's first pictures

As you can imagine, Kyle and I were thrilled with Jodie told us we were having another boy. Jodie was our ultrasound tech . . . we will always remember the name of everyone we saw on the day of our ultrasound because Jack literally asked "What her name" about every person we saw at the hospital on Monday. On our way home he asked, "Where Molly go?" Molly's my OB!

Having seen the ultrasound images has made me more in love with this little guy and so excited to meet him . . . I can't believe I still have to wait 20 weeks (or 21 if he's late like his brother)!

He looks completely healthy and on schedule. He's a little less than a pound and most of his measurements fall right in line with my due date of September 16. He's a little bigger than average, but perfectly perfect! It was such a relief.

We do have a name picked out and, yes, just like with Jack, we're keeping it to ourselves until he's born. The name we've chosen is one that we actually talked about before we were even thinking about getting pregnant . . . not too long after Jack was born, actually. It isn't one we considered for Jack and I'll give you fair warning . . . even if you guess it correctly, I'll still tell you you're wrong! His middle name, however, is still up in the air.

Jodie didn't give us nearly as many photos as we received at Jack's ultrasound . . . the poor kid is already falling victim to the stereotypes of being a second child! Here are a couple of my favorites, though.

He was a little bashful and kept his hands over his face quite a bit:

If you look closely (click to enlarge), you'll see him sticking his cute little tongue out at us:

Here's the obligatory picture to prove it's a boy. With Jack's ultrasound, the first shot showed us everything we needed to see . . . we didn't need a professional to tell us that we were having a boy! This time around, she had to search a little.

We gave Jack his very own picture of his "Lil Brudder." I've already found it in the trash can once. Hmmm . . .

April 28, 2009

Playing it fast and loose with this recipe

One of the staple dinners in our house is a chicken crescent pouch for which I no longer have the exact recipe. Every time I make it everyone says, "I love this . . . we had it all the time growing up." But last week I ran across someone who hadn't heard of it before, so I thought I'd share it here. It's rough, but it gives you an idea of how it should come together . . .


3 - 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cooked and diced
slightly softened cream cheese (more than 4 oz, less than 6 oz? 5 oz maybe?)
a few pats of butter - softened
garlic salt
1 - 2 tubes of crescent rolls (it depends on how many pouches you want to make and how full you want them to be . . . I usually buy 2 rolls of the "big and flaky" rolls that usually make 6 crescents. I think the 8-crescent tubes make pouches that are too small)
A few tablespoons of breadcrumbs

Mix the cubed chicken, cream cheese and two or three pats of butter (leave a little out for brushing on top at the end). If the chicken is warm and the cream cheese is still a little cold, it usually softens pefectly.

To the mixture, add garlic salt and pepper to taste.

Unroll the crescent rolls, but don't tear them apart. Keep two triangles together to make a square. Pinch the perforated seam so that you have 3 - 4 (depending on which crescents you have) square or rectangles of crescent dough per tube. SO, 6 - 8 pouches if you have two tubes. Make sure the dough is still cold when you do this. If it gets warm, it's much harder to work with.

Spoon the mixture evenly on each of your crescent squares. This is why you want to make sure you cream cheese isn't too soft. You want the mixture to stay on the crescent. Wrap the corners and sides of the square up and twist them at the top to seal in the mixture. Bake them for 20 - 30 minutes until the crescent is all of the way cooked. You might need to prod at one a little to make sure it's not still doughy. Check them often to make sure they don't burn. It helps to bake them on a Silpat or a light-colored baking sheet so the bottoms don't get over done.

When they come out of the oven, brush the tops with butter and sprinkle with a mixture of bread crumbs and garlic salt.

Served with mixed veggies and you have a great dinner!

Kyle claims that this is his favorite thing that I make . . . Jack and I love them, too.

April 27, 2009

A word from our sponsor . . .

The new baby . . . from Sara on Vimeo.

It just sounds nasty

I woke up last night around 1:30 and felt horrible. I was nauseous and achy. I asked Kyle if he'd get me a glass of juice and while I was waiting for him to come back from the kitchen I started to worry. Using my half-sleepy logic, I became convinced that I was the first case of swine flu in Michigan. It had temporarily escaped my mind that I was pregnant and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like this dozens of times when I was pregnant with Jack. I know . . . I was just being a crazy pregnant woman.

Though, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I was hesitant about taking Jack with us today for our ultrasound at the disease-infested hospital. It's scary . . . I'm watching the Today Show and you can hear the fear in the voices of the public officials. Someone from the CDC yesterday said that if this isn't an epidemic, you can almost guarantee we'll have some sort of epidemic in the next 15 - 20 years. "We're due," he said.

Seriously, not-pregnant-Sara would take note of these things, but probably wouldn't think much about them much throughout the day. However, crazy-pregnant-woman-Sara has been checking Jack's forehead to check for fever and is constantly listening to make sure the cough he's had for about a week isn't getting worse.

I'm going to try and put the swine flu out of my head and savor this day out as a family of three . . . these opportunities are numbered!

April 26, 2009

We can all stop wondering tomorrow

Tomorrow, we find out if we're having a boy or a girl. More importantly, we find out how our baby is growing and developing and if there are any concerns we should have.

People have asked if I have a "feeling" as to whether it's a boy or a girl, and honestly, I don't. But I was working on making a "big brother" shirt for Jack just now and I thought, "I should just print a stencil for the baby too." So, I had the "little brother" stencil all the way printed out before I realized that it might not be applicable. Maybe I do have a feeling. Or maybe a preference . . .

On the flip side, I bought some fabric on an impulse yesterday to make a project yet to be decided. When I took it out of the bag at home, I realized it was all pretty girly. So if we are having another boy, my niece and cousin might be getting some fun homemade stuff.

When people have asked, I haven't been super secretive about the fact that we'd love to have another little boy, but I don't want anyone to misunderstand . . . I will be equally as thrilled to have a girl! I think my desire for another boy might just be a fear of the unknown. And I know that part of me is just being practical, knowing that we have everything we need for a little boy.

I'll just be relieved to know that he or she is healthy and growing! And that I won't have to call him or her, "he or she" anymore!

April 22, 2009


A month or two ago, Jack started declaring himself scared of everything. One morning, while we were waiting for his babysitter to arrive, Jack said, "Scared Bethany." As much as I trust our babysitter, it gave me a little hesitation . . . could there possibly be something she was doing that scared him? I really do trust her so I put it out of my mind.

When I got home that afternoon, I heard Bethany say, "Mommy's home!" And I heard Jack reply, "Scared mommy." At this point, I realized that being scared of something was equivalent to not wanting to give up what he's doing at the moment.

Oh, side note . . . when I got home on Tuesday, Jack came to the bottom of the stairs, looked up at me and said "Go back work . . . Bethany stay." Awww . . . I missed you too, buddy.

Anyway, Over the last week or two, he's developed a real fear . . . of the dark. When he plays in the basement, BOTH sides need to be lit up or he stands at the bottom of the stairs saying, "Lights on pease" over and over until someone comes to turn them on. Even though turning the lights on in one side totally lights the other side, too. At bedtime, he protests turning the overhead lights on and clings once they're off . . . even with his lamp on. He WILL NOT go into a room that doesn't have lights on, even if there are plenty of windows with light coming through.

Tonight, Jack was saying "Too dark! Scared!" and we talked about how he doesn't need to be scared because even when mommy leaves, Jesus is always with him. We've talked about this before, but tonight we specifically included it in his bedtime prayers. I had him repeat after me when I said, "Jesus, help me not to be scared of the dark."

I left his room a couple of minutes ago, and I just heard him through the monitor saying, "Jesus, help . . . not . . . scared."

Melt my heart . . .

April 20, 2009

His little tricks . . .

Today, Jack put one of the arms on his Mr. Potato Head and I watched him use it to press the buttons on the dishwasher. When I said, "uh oh, time out . . . you know that you aren't supposed to touch the dishwasher," Jack started saying, "Not Jack! Mr. Pa-ato Head touch it!"

Are you kidding me?

The other little trick he pulled was right before naptime. He had exhausted all of his other procrastination resources (potty, snack, drink, song, etc.) so he reached out and hit my arm and said, "Uh oh, time out, Jack sit in time out chair."

Seriously, kid? You would take a time out just to put off taking your nap by 2 minutes?

And now, after I've told him 10 times that we are not watching Little Einsteins tonight, he's asking to watch the news.

And I might just give in.

April 19, 2009


When walking uphill with your child in a stroller and your dog on a leash, it's important to be sure to turn on the stroller brake before chasing your dog when she gets loose . . . lest your leisurely walk turn into a frantic run.

Not even kidding.

April 18, 2009

Our new bathtime activity

I love these bath crayons. Jack does, too.

19 weeks . . . pregnant?

Last night, someone said to me, "You don't even look pregnant."

And while I know that person meant well, all I heard was, "It just looks like you're actually that fat."

So here is the photo of me looking 19 weeks fat. In one of the last two remaining pair of non-maternity pants that still button comfortably.

Click here to compare to last time.

April 17, 2009

Book lover

We spend a fortune on books. Jack loves to read and we read the same books OVER AND OVER until we're all sick of them. So, I made plans to take him to the library today. I went to work way early, so that I could get everything done and be home on time to take him out. I told Jack we were going on an adventure, which of course made him even more excited.

I made the mistake of running errands first, so he was hungry and tired by the time we headed to the library. We stopped for lunch at Panera, where he ignored his $3.69 peanut butter and jelly sandwich and ate half of my turkey artichoke sandwich. Side note: He had peanut butter for the first time over the weekend and didn't have any allergic reaction.

I had to keep him talking during the entire drive from Panera to the library, so that he wouldn't fall asleep. He perked up when we got there, though. He said "What her name?" or "What his name?" about everyone we passed. And he hasn't quite mastered the art of whipsering . . .

It cost $50 for a library card because we live outside of the county. Our county doesn't have a library . . . I won't even start on all of the comments I could make about that. I think the money spent will be well worth it, though. We checked out 9 books today and can keep them for 3 weeks.

The library was small, but it had a great selection of books for kids his age. Jack likes to go to his bookshelf at home and knock every book off and he tried to do this at the library so we had a little chat about library behavior. He also spotted a shelf full of puzzles, but I quickly averted his attention. That could have been a catastrophe! There was a little table with coloring pages and crayons, which kept him entertained while I picked some books for us to read.

It was a lot of fun and I'm excited to be able to take more trips with him to the library!

Easter 2009

Jack participated in his first Easter egg hunt at camp on the day before Easter. There were 8400 eggs hidden and there was a section marked off for ages 0 - 4. I was shocked at how many parents were shoveling eggs into their kids' baskets! Sure, there was a chance to win a bike, but most of the kids were just going to go home with candy and trinkets. It was interesting.

But Jack and his cousin, Emma, had a good time. We were all there for the experience more than the reward! Don't let the sunshine fool you. It was FREEZING.

From there, we drove to my parents house and spent Saturday night and Easter Sunday with them. My parents got Jack a Mr. Potato head . . . the pieces of which are virtually impossible to keep contained. I think he's gone through every possible combination of eyes, ears, noses, mouths, etc. that are possible. He also had his first Easter egg dying experience with my parents on Saturday afternoon.

And he hunted for the eggs at my parents' house on Easter morning.

We gave him an Easter basket containing plastic eggs filled with goldfish crackers, a coloring book, bath crayons, a Memory game, a new cup, and some books. And we filled the basket with "grass" made out of shredded catalogs, like we did last year.

He wore his first neck tie on Easter, and looked great, if I do say so myself. I wish we would have snapped a family picture at some point. He was very proud of the fact he was wearing a neck tie and continued to ask for it even after we took it off.

Jack with my cousin, Gianna:

You can see all of our Easter pictures here.

And I've finally posted all of our Disney pictures here.

April 16, 2009

Planning for Easter 2010?

Now is the time to get your Easter baskets (if you don't already have them).

I bought the Pottery Barn Kids baseball Easter basket liner off of ebay this year. They were completely sold out so early on PBK's website, but the first one I found on ebay had "Jack" embroidered on it. How perfect is that?! I would have preferred "Jackson" but I wasn't going to be picky when I could get it for the price that I did! Side note: When I was pregnant with Jack, I had a saved search called "Pottery Barn Kids Jackson" so that I was alerted anytime someone listed something from PBK with "Jackson" on it. I scored some really nice (and really cheap) personalized stuff. Just a thought.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find one of the PBK baskets for a price that fit within my budget. It was just a little more than I wanted to spend. So, I found one at Target that would be ok for this year. It was super shallow and flimsy and I was a little disappointed so on Monday, I got on the site and found that baskets had been marked down to $13.99! That's only $1 more than I spent on my cheapo Target one. Most of the liners are sold out, but you could check ebay for one of those. I think, with shipping, I spent about $30 total for the basket and the liner. And I'm ok with that because I plan on this being "the basket" he has for the remainder of his Easter-basket-receiving years.

The basket just arrived today. Side note: A big thanks to the UPS man, Jehovah's Witnesses and Census Bureau employees for ringing the doorbell, thus making Jack's nap much more difficult this afternoon. Seriously, this is a really nice basket. It's beautiful and it will last his lifetime. Oh, and we bought the "small" basket. Which is bigger than the basket he had last year. Plenty of room for Easter goodies. I think the big basket might have been a little too much (for us, at least).

I'm hoping they'll still have some in a few weeks when we find out if #2 is a boy or a girl.

Photo courtesy of the Pottery Barn Kids website.

Conversations with Jack, Month 22

I don't know how long I'll keep this up. This month's conversation proved to be even more difficult than last month's.

You'll see that he again stares blankly at himself in the screen on the camera. He wouldn't count for me on camera. When he counts, he says, "4-6-7-8-9-10." I guess he's not that fond of 1, 2, 3 and 5. And I forgot to ask him how old he is, because it is adorable it when he responds "almost 2." Which is way better than "forty-nine" which is what he used to say.

Conversation with Jack, Month 22 from Sara on Vimeo.

April 14, 2009

Audience participation

When I in junior high/high school, my parents hired someone to clean our house regularly. The ironic thing is that in the back of my head, I secretly thought my mom was lazy because of it. Seriously. She was working a demanding, full time job, had three kids and was working on her Master's degree. And I thought she was lazy for getting someone to clean the house twice a month. The part that was ironic is that I never considered my dad lazy for this . . . just my mom And I can share this here because I've shared it with her and now realize that she was absolutely NOT lazy. I can barely keep up with cleaning with only a job and a toddler.

The thought of hiring someone to clean my house through the summer has entered my head more than once today. I was working on cleaning the kitchen and thinking, "Didn't I just do this?" And I know that Kyle's done it at least once since I did it. It seems like it's impossible to keep anything clean. And during the summer we're gone from 7 AM - 8 PM (well, Kyle's gone from 7 AM - midnight most days) and I have no desire to clean on our 1 1/2 days off.

So, I'm wondering what your housekeeping "philosophies" are. What routine do you have? What time-saving tips work for you? What horror stories can you share? Do you hire someone to help you with cleaning? How often do you clean? No judgment here at all. I'm just wondering. Comment if you'd like, or shoot me an e-mail. Or let me know if you've posted about this on your blog in the past. I don't normally invite audience participation on my blog, but I'm curious . . .

For us, we haven't had a routine since Jack was born . . . so for almost two years now. We used to have a loose schedule of when things would get cleaned, but not so much anymore. We clean things as we have time. Since we both work quite a bit, we take equal responsibility for keeping things clean, though I'll admit that the bathrooms usually only get cleaned when Kyle can't take the filth anymore and does it. My main "horror stories" involve Murphy peeing and Jack spilling vegetable oil on our hideous white carpet . . . which is the reason we're now saving for new flooring throughout our house. The kitchen gets cleaned usually once a week and we probably vaccuum high traffic areas once a week, too. But everything else . . . maybe once a month. Maybe. Unless you count touch-ups before we have people over. Gross, I know.

I don't really have any time-saving tips, other than sweeping things onto the carpet. I hate using dustpans, so I sweep stuff from the kitchen onto the carpet and then vaccuum it up afterwards. I picked that little trick up from the head of housekeeping at camp.

Ok, your turn.

April 13, 2009

Who do I think I am?

I've been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on for the last month or so. It's a fantastic book, but there was one part toward the beginning of the book toward the beginning of the book that stuck with me. Maybe it'll stick with you, too.
I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn't really help it that I was the worrying kind. I'm a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety are ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously.


But then there's that perplexing command: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Phil. 4:4). You'll notice that it doesn't end with ". . . unless you're doing something extremely important." No, it's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything" (v. 6).

That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering.

When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack o fgrace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance . . .

Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?

As heard during the pre-nap diaper change

Me: I love you buddy.

Jack: Love you more.

Me: No, I love you more.

Jack: Love you more!

Me: No, I love you more.

Jack: Oh, alright.

April 10, 2009


When we tell Jack, "no" to something, he's started saying, "We'll see? We'll see?" As if maybe he can get us to reconsider. I do say "we'll see" a lot.

If we say "yes" to something, he's started responding with "Pwomise?" Seriously? Have we been that untrustworthy? Who taught him to say that? We can't think of anyone he's around who would teach him to say that.

What a funny kid.

We had a busy week and we have a busier weekend ahead. I'll update more when I have time.

April 6, 2009

It is well

I haven't had the best morning. I feel emotionally and physically drained (I think totally due to pregnancy) and Jack has been a bit of a handful. And that's an understatement. On days like today, I wonder what we've done to have created this little monster.

When I went to put him down for a nap a few minute ago, he went through his usual litany of "potty! drink! sing song!" So, I opted for the song because it required the least effort.

One of my favorites to sing to him is the hymn "It is Well" but I was anxious to get him down, so I skipped to the third verse (because it's my favorite). He's probably heard this song and Amazing Grace more often than any other song.

My sin, o the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

As I was singing "nailed to the cross" Jack rolls over and starts singing (and when I say "singing" I mean more of a cross between a shout and a chant) "Paise da Lord, O my soul." Which, of course, invoked my laugh/cry, which was . . . well, let's just say there was snot.

What a blessing. It was what I needed today. An affirmation that the grace of God will cover my parenting deficiencies. And that once naptime is over, I get a fresh start.

April 4, 2009

To Ohio and back

Kyle is in Detroit all day for the games, so I decided to join my parents and take Jack to visit my grandma in Ohio. My parents didn't tell my grandma that we were coming and she seemed really excited to see us! And by "us" I mean "Jack."

He was so well behaved today! Nap time was a little rough, but he eventually fell asleep. There were no time outs and very few warnings. Of course, he usually do well when he has 4 - 5 people paying him all kinds of attention. Especially when all of those people think he's the most amazing little boy ever. He was cracking all of us up with some of the things he said. Unfortunately, I'm too tired right now to remember any of them.

Jack definitely looks like more like Kyle than he does me, but when I'm with my family (specifically, with my grandma) I'm reminded of how much I look like her, and how much Jack's smile resembles hers. We don't get down there as much as I wish we did, so I'm glad it worked out for us to go today. My other three grandparents have all passed away, which makes me value time with my grandma even more.

April 3, 2009


:: Generally speaking, I've had a great week! I've been productive, Jack has been fairly agreeable and my stress level has been lower than it was the week before. I went to work WAY early this morning so that I could get a lot done and then get home with Jack so Kyle could work. It was still a little dark out and it was really spooky. But when I got home, Kyle and Jack had cleaned and organized my entire office . . . something that was so badly needed. I was so overwhelmed that I was close to tears.

:: Kyle has tickets for great seats at the Final Four games in Detroit this weekend, so Jack and I are headed to Ohio with my parents to visit my grandma. I'm looking forward to heading down there, but I'm ready for next week when we'll all be home more. It's spring break, and Kyle only has two practices and no games. We'll get to eat dinner together EVERY NIGHT. It's been a while since we've done that.

:: Jack has been so affectionate with his words lately. I was sweeping the kitchen the other day and Jack said, "Good sweeping, mama. Proud of you!" I said, "Thanks, Jack." Then he said, "Love you, too." When I was singing to him one night, he said, "Good singing, mom." Which makes me a little scared that I'm ruining his pitch forever. He asks for "fammy hugs" quite a bit. I love it!

:: You know how when you feel like there's a fly buzzing around your head, you put your hand up to swat at it. Well, yesterday, Kyle snuck up behind me when I was working and I felt something behind me and put my hand up and started swatting. Whoops. I hit him pretty hard in the face broke his glasses. I can't remember a time in my life before now that I've laughed that hard. It was a silent, ugly laugh. But it felt good. If only we had optical insurance . . .

April 2, 2009

Dear Jack, Month 22

Dear Jack,

Many nights, when I'm putting you to bed, and we go through our ritual of reading, singing and praying, I find my thoughts drifting to whether or not you'll break our hearts one day. The way life is right now, it's hard to imagine. I can't fathom what it would be like if what we tell you to do or not to do held no weight in your decision making. It's hard to believe that one day soon, a time out won't be able to influence your behavior. That sitting in the time out chair for a minute or two won't make you "ready to obey."

As you lay in your crib and look me in the eyes while I sing to you, I can't comprehend a world in which you make all of your own decisions with no regard for what your father and I will have spent years and years teaching you.

In these moments, I'm tempted to worry. I'm tempted to stress out about what we should be doing or shouldn't be doing to make sure that you make good decisions. I want to do research and read books that will guarantee that following the 12 easy steps will help you grow into a mature young man who loves God with all of his heart. I want to know what estranges kids from their parents and what I can do now to prevent that.

But I know that ultimately, it's out of my hands. I have a responsibility to teach you and to love you and do provide what's best for you to the best of my knowledge and ability. I will pray for you and support you, but the rest . . . well, the rest just happens. Your Dad and I trust God and know that He is working to accomplish his purposes in our world even when we don't understand why things are the way they are. And someday, you'll have to make decisions about whether or not to obey Him.

We know that life is not about you. It's not about us. It's about God. And we know that everything we do should revolve around doing the work that He's given us while we're here.

I don't think I've ever said anything in any of your letters that I don't mean, but I want to be sure that I'm clear. I do think that you have a special purpose in our world. I do think that God has given you so many gifts, many of which have yet to be seen, and that you'll have the chance to use those someday to bring God glory. But I never want to lead you to believe that the world revolves around you. Each of us is a small part of this huge picture of time and space that God has created. He loves us each individually, but we're all just a piece of the larger goal that He's trying to accomplish. To ever think that we're more important than any other piece of that puzzle is silly.

As time passes, you'll depend on us less and less. That's good and it should be the case. But my hope is that as your dependence on us decreases, your faith in and dependence on God will continue to increase. He'll never stop loving you. And neither will we.


April 1, 2009

Jesus Loves Me

I don't sing Jesus Loves Me to him that often, but last night when I was putting him to bed he requested it. But instead of just asking for "Jesus Loves Me" he said, "Mama sing song. Jesus Loves Me, This I know, Bible tell me so." Wow. I didn't realize he knew that much of that song.

Today, I investigated to see how many of the words he actually knows and it turns out quite a few. So I give you Jack's (sort of) musical debut . . . with a little help from his mom.

Jesus Love Me from Sara on Vimeo.

Check back tomorrow for Jack singing "Great is thy Faithfulness."

Just kidding.