June 10, 2013

Dear Bennett, Months 37 - 45

Dear Ben,

Last month, you came into our room a little before 6:00.  We said it was too early and told you to go back to bed. 

About 10 minutes later, Jack came in and said, "Where's Ben?"  We told him you were probably in the living room or kitchen.  We started to get up and Jack came in and said, "The back door is open and Ben's boots are gone."

That got us out of bed real fast.  I ran out to the back yard (in my pajamas) and started yelling your name.  I didn't see you anywhere.  My eyes were filling with tears as I started walking through the neighbor's back yards and trying to see through the woods to see if I could spot you.  Suddenly, through the trees, I heard you say, "Hey!  Mom!" as your little silhouette emerged from the brush.

I grabbed you and scooped you up and hugged you as I told you how worried we were and how you were to NEVER leave the house without telling us again.

You just looked at me and said, "What?  I just really wanted to catch that cat.  Wouldn't it be fun to have a cat?"  I shudder to think about what might have happened if that cat had run into the street or down to the lake.  And once I had regained composure, we had a very serious talk about why that was NOT okay.

That moment last month wasn't the last time you wandered off.  It's happened a few more times, and every time it scares me.  We're working on that.  I honestly believe that 95% of the time it's not disobedience . . . it's just curiosity.  Nonethless, I'm looking into door alarms.

You, my sweet boy, are our little free spirit.  You just follow your heart wherever it might take you.  While this makes parenting a lot more challenging, I also love this about you.  Sometimes, I'm even a little envious.  I love it that you have few inhibitions.

I told someone recently that you're my "complicated" child.  Not in a bad way . . . just in a, well, complicated way.  Managing your brother at this age was always very straightforward . . . A + B = C.  With you, A + B = C, but only on in the morning.  Sometimes, after naptime, A+B/2 = C.  And Sometimes, A and B aren't even available.  I don't know if that makes sense, but it's the best way to describe you.  It takes more work for us to figure you out . . . but when we do?  It's so, so worth it.

When you do something that  you know you shouldn't have, you say something like, "I still love you when you get mad at me.  Do you still love me if I spilled juice on your bed?"  It's hard to be upset when you start with that.  You're the best 3-year-old I know and I love you no matter what!