December 31, 2013

On 2013

I know that a cardinal rule of blogging is to never acknowledge an absence.  However, my  blogging absence says more about 2013 than any blog post could.  In general, 2013 has not been good.  It's been uncomfortable, frustrating, and at times, downright heartbreaking.  It's stretched and challenged us and has brought more tears than laughter.  Those are just the facts.

I know what you're thinking: "You have a home, jobs, three beautiful, healthy children, etc.  Why are you complaining?"  The good things in life aren't lost on me.  I know that it could be worse and that I'm relatively fortunate.  That doesn't change the fact that this year has just been a bad one.  All last January, February and March, I kept commenting on how I couldn't wait for winter to be over because I was sure winter was bringing our misfortune.  But it continued through the spring, summer and right on into the fall. December has kind of been the grand finale.

I regret not writing as much this year, because I haven't documented much of the kids' lives during this year and they've all changed so much.  Jack is 6, going on 12 and really is amazing.  Bennett is one of the most creative, compassionate 4-year-olds I know.  And Claire?  She's incredibly fiesty and so, so, smart.  We've had so many good moments with them this year and I wish I'd written about those.

The fact is that every time I sit down to write, my mind draws a blank and tears fill my eyes.  That's just how it's been.

I wish that I could write about how much we've grown and learned through the challenges of this year . . . and I think we have.  But it's hard to see that clearly when you're still in the middle of it.

I do know, that despite all of the stress and misfortune of this year, that God is good and that he loves us.  I know that even if every year for the rest of our lives is like this one, we can still consider ourselves incredibly blessed.

I'm just hoping that 2014 is our year.