March 21, 2020

On the 2020 Pandemic . . .

I went to bed last Thursday and was restless. Kyle was still in the kitchen working on plans for his students while I just tossed and turned. Schools were closing in states near us, and I had a feeling we would be next. Around midnight, just as I was dozing off, Kyle came into the bedroom, put his hand on my leg and whispered, "All Michigan schools are closing until after spring break."

And I was up.

I spent that night on the couch in the basement. I felt sick to my stomach. I was thinking about my kids, about people getting sick, about the kids for whom 3 weeks at home was not a pleasant thought. I thought about my dad, going house to house doing everyone's taxes. I thought about my sister having a baby in 2 months. I thought about my kids' baseball and soccer schedules. I thought about what this would do to my business. CAMP! I wondered if kids would be back in school on time for our outdoor education programs. Would school go further into the summer? Will the economy hold up? So many questions. So much uncertainty.

I was interviewed by a writer from a national magazine yesterday about how this is affecting my business and felt like an idiot, because I responded with "I don't know" or "It's hard to tell" to more than half of the questions.

Will your business recover? I don't know.
How much of an impact will this have on your family's income. It's hard to tell.

Ok, bye.

"Uncertain" and "unknown" are two words that have been overused for the last week, but they apply. These are weird days. Or as every email I've received from businesses responding to the Novel Coronavirus have called it . . . "uncharted territory." Everyone is using the same words, because we haven't developed vocabulary to use yet.

Two weeks ago, I cried one night to Kyle about how empty I was feeling. I had nothing left to give. I was creatively tapped, emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Our schedule was overwhelming and responsibilities felt heavy. Also, March is reading month, which is always a pretty big fail for me. I told him that I just wanted a break from the routine.

Today? I would give anything right now to be filling out reading logs and shuttling kids to practices.