Lukes are Best Friends

I'm almost sure that at my funeral someday, this is the memory that my kids will laugh about: "Remember how after we fought, Mom used to make us say, 'I love you' and 'Lukes are best friends'?" 

I'm okay with that.

I make no secret of the fact that one of my main parenting goals is to keep them close . . . perhaps to a fault. I make sure they know that even when they're married and have kids of their own, they need to touch base with their siblings . . . all of them . . . at least once a week.

They might not have chosen each other, but they'll always be the friends who have known them the longest. I want them to confide in each other. I don't even care if they help each other keep secrets from us (kind of). When one of my kids tattles on another, I often say, "Remember . . . you're all on the same team."

Maybe they'll all grow apart and lose touch when they get older. But it won't go down without a fight from their Mama.

Backing up

We're in our new house!

But let's back up a little.  We were out of our old house on the 26th.  That last night was an emotional one.  I watched Claire fall to sleep in her crib for the last time and then tucked the boys into their bunk beds.  Jack was openly emotional, but Ben was just struggling to keep it together.  Kyle and I were both overwhelmed with nostalgia and spent time talking about our years at 11534 Hillary Drive.

We are SO fortunate to have as many friends and family as we do who were able to help us move.  Our small group came on Friday to help us pack up our uhaul and take it to storage.  On Saturday, quite a few of our summer staff came to help us pack up the last of our belongings.

We took the kids to my parents that night, and Kyle and I got the trailer ready to live in.  We're so grateful that Kyle's parents let us use their trailer, so that we didn't have to rent anything.

That first morning, we woke up, and I just sat on the edge of the bed and cried.  Like, ugly cried.  I was just so sad to leave our home, and so uncertain about when we'd move into our new house.  At some point during that next week, our closing was moved to "on or before August 21."

We cleaned out the house over the next few days, and both Kyle and I were emotional about leaving.  We came into that house as a couple and left as a family of 5 1/2.  We have so many memories there, but now most of our kids' memories will be in a new place.

We were in the trailer for a little more than 2 weeks.  There were good times and bad times, for sure.  Bedtime was rough because they all just wanted to play.  Claire didn't sleep well, and when she woke up, EVERYONE was awake.  On the second night, she woke up around 4, so she and I went for a drive.  We went to Walmart and were the first in line when Starbucks opened that morning.

I didn't sleep well.  A little because we were in a trailer, but mostly because I'm pregnant.  At home, I'd watch tv or do laundry, but in the trailer I couldn't move without waking someone up.

We did have good times.  It was nice to be together as a family and enjoy living at camp.  It was almost like a little "reset."  We weren't packing.  We weren't unpacking.  It was just some in between time.

We closed on our house on August 4, and the previous owners were out on August 9 . . . my 36th birthday.  We spent my birthday sitting around waiting for the call that they'd moved out.  As soon as Kyle got that text, we loaded up and headed to the house.  The kids hadn't seen it before and it was so fun to watch them run around and explore.

It's been a little more than 2 weeks, and we're feeling semi-settled.  Most of our belongings are in boxes, but the bedrooms are unpacked and livable, which was what I'd hoped to accomplish pre-baby.

What I shouldn't be doing . . .

. . . is blogging.  I have approximately ONE MILLION projects on which I should be working, but this sad little blog has been neglected long enough.  It's hard to remember a time in which I wrote here daily.  It was a different life. 

Here's a hodgepodge summary of the last two weeks:

Jack's at VBS right now, so I've been working the last few nights from Panera.  Our church does a fantastic job and I'm so glad that it fell after camps were over so that we could bring Jack.  He asks every night if we'll be able to do it again next year!

Our summer youth camp season ended on August 3, which is the earliest it's ever ended.  The last week was rough, for so many reasons, including, but not limited to, the fact that all three kids had a mystery virus that caused alarmingly high temperatures for all of them.  That wasn't fun.  Summer is a crazy time and being forced to slow down and take care of them ended up being a good thing, but was still stressful.

The Sunday after camps were over, we left on vacation, but now we're back at it.  We have tons of cross country camps, soccer camps, rental groups, etc. and  we have adult and family retreats from the end of August through the beginning of October.  And then we start planning for winter camps, spring retreats and next summer.

Vacation . . . I don't really think "vacation" is the right word for a trip with three young children.  Don't get me wrong.  We had fun.  It was just a lot of work.

I didn't pack my usual bag of games, toys and snacks for the ride up.  I just bought a few new DVDs.  They love to watch movies in the car and I wasn't going to fight it.   All the way there.  All the way back.  Claire slept and played with the toys I handed her.  4 1/2 hours with no stops . . . easiest trip ever.

We rented a house near the campground where Kyle's entire family camped.  And while it was fun to go to the campground and beach, I was SO glad to be in a house and not in a tent or a trailer.

Claire is full out crawling and pulling herself up now, so I think a dusty campsite would have been rough.  And I'm convinced that my two-year-old ran out into the road every time we were there, simply to see the panicked look on my face.  The house was perfect for us and we enjoyed getting away. 

We hiked up to the overlook in Boyne City and it was beautiful.  Getting three kids up to the top (mostly the two youngest) was difficult though.

Ben and Claire started this way:

 And ended this way:

Yeah, that's Kyle carrying both of them.  Almost 500 steps.  Super fun for him.

But the view at the top of Lake Charlevoix was lovely.

We tried to get a "cousins" picture, but this was the best that we could get Ben to do.

I celebrated my 34th birthday while we were up there.  It was kind of a crappy day.  I just wasn't feeling well, and nothing really went as planned.  Kyle had scheduled a massage and facial for me that day, but I got a sunburn earlier in the week that would have made both of those things uncomfortable.

Oh, the sunburn.  I haven't had a bad sunburn in so many years.  I used to get them all the time.  I wear sunscreen constantly, but my back just wasn't used to that much direct sun for the 2 1/2 hours we were at the beach that day.  Even with SPF 50, I didn't stand a chance.  I had chills and felt sick almost all night and it made me uncomfortable for most of the trip.

Even though I got that sunburn, we did have some good beach time.  The boys played in the water with Kyle, I sat and dug a disturbing amount of sand out of Claire's mouth.  I sat at the edge of the water with Claire for a while and just let the waves of Lake Charlevoix splash over her legs and belly.  She was a little unsure at first, but seemed to really like it eventually.

We did get a chance to play miniature golf . . . which was pretty much the only thing Jack requested that we do while we were there.  Kyle beat us all.  I did get a hole in one . . . though I didn't even know it because as soon as I hit the ball, I saw Ben splashing in the bottom of the waterfall and ran after him.  I still kind of wonder if Kyle just hit it in the hole for me because it was my birthday.  At any point on the course where there was water, either Kyle or I had to be standing right with Ben to make sure he didn't . . . well . . . go for a swim.

I took family pictures for Kyle's sister and brother-in-law and nieces.  I worked on a few pictures while the kids were napping one day, but they're now sitting here as one of my unfinished projects.  It made me wish I had hired someone to come take our family pictures while we were there.  I have tons of great pictures of other people's families.  Very few of my own.

On our last day, we went to Petoskey and let the boys choose any toy (within reason).  Jack chose a puzzle and a license plate with his name on it.  I bought an educational toy for both of them to share.  And Ben?  Ben chose a push broom.

Seriously.  A toy broom.  And he had fun sweeping the streets wherever we went for the rest of the day.  I love that kid.

So, we're home.  We're getting ready to send Jack to Kindergarten and Ben to preschool . . . both of which I have anxiety about.  Our beloved babysitter of the last 3 1/2ish years let us know at the end of July that she was picking up more hours at her real job and wouldn't be available to watch the kids anymore.  I got the message in the dairy section of Walmart and tried to hold it together, but ultimately finished my shopping while ugly-crying.

It wasn't just that message. The message from the babysitter was just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back.  It has just been a rough summer.  We never really figured out a routine with babysitters and child care.  Logistically, camps were harder than they ever have been before.  I've been dealing with a neverending sinus infection and ear infections.  I just felt anxious and frustrated for a good portion of the summer.  And then three kids with mystery illnesses that last week?  It was just the icing on the cake. 

That said, I also think that this summer was the one that we saw more lives changed and more spiritual growth in our campers than we have in a while.  So, it was definitely all worth it.  I just need to keep that all in perspective.

Day 5

On Wednesday, I completed day 4 of Jillian's 30-day shred.

Of course, days 1 - 3 were back in April right before I found out I was pregnant, but I'm still going to count Wednesday as day 4. Several of my facebook friends assured me that this is perfectly okay to do.

It felt so good to be active again and I was feeling so motivated, but on what would have been day 5, I woke up feeling sick. Ben had a runny nose all week, and I hadn't thought much of it. I just thought he had the sniffles, and they'd go away. But yesterday, the "sniffles" took out me, Ben, Jack and Claire.

I had aches, fever, sore throat, runny nose, sneezing and headache. It was miserable. It still kind of is. On top of it all . . . have I mentioned that I did Jillian's 30-day shred the night before? I don't remember my muscles hurting that bad when I did it back in April, but yesterday I could barely walk. It was hard to tell what was hurting from this virus and what was hurting from pushing my totally out of shape body too hard.

Claire slept all day yesterday, and has pretty much been sleeping all day today, with the exception of when I woke her up to eat at noon. She was so pitiful . . . stuffy breathing, glassy eyes, snotty nose, and this pitiful little glazed over smile when I talk to her. Thankfully, her temperature is back down around 100.

The boys, however, were up for most of the night for the last two nights. Kyle and I played musical beds while we tried to help them get comfortable and sleep. They seem to have rebounded, from what I'm hearing upstairs. Lots of laughing and activity. I think we're on the upswing.

Unfortunately, Kyle had a headache and laid down to take a nap an hour or two ago . . . I think we might have another man down.

Day 6 of the 30-day shred might have to wait another week or two.

It fits

I've never wished for more hours in the day as I have over the last few weeks. Between our jobs, my business, Kyle's school work (as of tomorrow, he'll be a little more than half way done with his master's degree . . . yay!) and three kids, I'm coming up short on sleep. Claire slept from 11 last night to 4:45 this morning, which was a nice surprise, but she has these fussy times every evening starting at 7:30 and lasting until 10 or so. If I keep her in the sling, she'll sleep right through it, so I've been working in the evenings with her around my neck . . . which has done only bad things for my chronic shoulder pain.

Even so, I really like having three kids. It just feels right. Our family felt "whole" before, but now I can't believe we ever felt complete without her. I remember going through all of this after Ben was born, too. She just fits. The other day, I mentioned to Kyle that I really like having three kids.

He went pale and said, "Uh, I'm not sure I'm ready for a fourth."

Whoa. Simmer down. She's 7 weeks old and I'm saying that I'm content with things as they are . . . not that I want to do this all again.

I went for my 6-week post partum check-up, and found myself in tears leaving. The check-out receptionist said, "Well, you're all set! You're done with us for a while!" It hit me like a ton of bricks. The childbearing part of my life is over. That chapter has closed. I'm happy, but at the same time, it brings out my sentimental side. It was like high school graduation . . . really excited to get to this point, but sad that I'll never be there again. Bittersweet. But mostly sweet.

We took all three of them to the hospital yesterday when we took Claire for a routine ultrasound. We ran through a drive thru for lunch and I distributed the food as Kyle drove. We got there and unloaded the stroller, gathered necessary toys, bags, etc and held the boys' hands through the parking garage. We waited and went in for her tests and then left and went to get the boys' hair cut. I nursed Claire while they were in the salon and then we all headed home (but not before stopping for gas and a necessary shamrock shake). On the way home, I realized how tired I was and it hit me . . . we managed to all leave the house for the day together without becoming super stressed or losing it. Were there stressful moments? Oh, yes. But I feel like we're getting the hang of it.

We don't have it all together. My house is a mess. I will always be worried about something having to do with each of my kids' development. There are temper tantrums and there is fussiness. I just keep thinking, "There will be a day when all of this will be over."

At some times I think it with tears in my eyes. And at other times, I think it with a smile on my face.

In over my head

I'm having one of THOSE weeks. The kind of week that reminds me that there's very little I can do apart from the grace of God. You know the kind, right?

The first week back from vacation is always stressful because there's so much catching up to do, and like I mentioned earlier, we were coming off a crazy drive home. When I got home on Sunday night, I was fried. Then upon return, I was hit with one thing after another for about three hours straight that seemed to make the outlook for this week even more difficult.

Late Sunday night, I sat at my desk looking over my to do list, calculating how long it would be before my head would hit the pillow and taking deep breaths in an effort not to panic. I think the only phrase that can accurately describe how I was feeling that night is "in over my head." I spent a good portion of that time wondering how on earth I'll cope with a third child.

The next morning, I was looking through photos from Ben's birthday party (that have yet to be processed) and found this family photo. We don't have many, and this photo is not all that great . . . but I've found myself staring at it for a few minutes every day this week, wondering who that pregnant grown up is in the picture. Because although it's been 11 years, I sometimes feel like I'm still very immature and fresh out of college.

Side note . . . Kyle loves this picture because the word "HOT" is right over his head.

These last 11 years have passed so quickly. And the next 11 will likely move faster. This stress and craziness is temporary. Wiping bottoms and breaking up screaming matches won't last forever. And neither will the cuddling and the chance to train these boys "in the way they should go."

I love that picture because I love the people in it so much. I might be in over my head, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.

Zoo day

We went to the zoo last Saturday . . . it was HOT out, but the zoo we like to go to is almost entirely shaded. We were a little sticky, but not too uncomfortable. We had such a good time with the boys. It was a last minute decision, but I'm so glad we decided to do it. I've included a couple of photos of the boys, and a family picture that a friendly stranger snapped for us.

Later that night, we cooked dinner around a campfire . . . in 90 degree weather. We had promised them, so we had to follow through!

Thanks to the friendly stranger (who seemed to be behind us at EVERY exhibit all day) for snapping this family photo!

Slowing down

I tend to not post when we leave on vacation, because of the huge number of burglars that I'm sure make up my meager group of followers. Fortunately, our house is being adequately protected by armed guards and large ferocious animals while we're gone, so it's not really an issue.

We're headed to Tennessee for a few days . . . Gatlinburg to be exact. It was a last minute trip. We officially booked it less than a week ago. I'm looking forward to some badly needed rest and dedicated family time. One of our goals for the next few days is to SLOW DOWN. I've noticed over the last couple of weeks how often I tell my boys to "hurry up." I'm trying to be intentional about letting them move at their own pace.

Jack certainly tested me in that area tonight when we went out to dinner. Jack is a SLOW. EATER. Especially in restaurants. By the time Kyle, Bennett and I were finished our meals and the check was paid, he had consumed exactly 1/2 a chicken tender and two carrot sticks. He was just taking his time, looking around the restaurant, asking questions about everything he saw and practically sitting on my lap. Jack has a seemingly magnetic draw to whoever is sitting next to him at restaurants. Even if I pick him up and sit him down with his bottom planted firmly in his chair, I can just watch him start to lean into whoever is sitting next to him and just hang on his or her arm. He doesn't even realize he's doing it. He likes to cuddle and I'd guess that physical touch is his primary love language. I think this is how that desire manifests itself during meals.

Normally, I would have put a time limit on the meal and told him that we were leaving in 5 minutes and if he didn't finish, he'd just have to go hungry. Don't get me wrong . . . I think that's perfectly acceptable to do and when we're home and in a regular schedule, I'll probably continue to do that on occasion. Tonight, however, we just let him take his time. It started to get a little stressful because Ben was getting restless, but instead of stressing out, we just played. We tried to make things fun. Eventually, Jack finished and we all left happy and full.

With Ben, we're being intentional about letting him walk places himself. It's so much faster to pick him up and rush him to wherever we happen to be going. Instead, I'm putting him down, taking his hand and letting him set the pace.

I know that it can't always be this way when we get home. There are times we have to hurry and times that I'll still have to tell Jack "five more minutes." But this week, the focus is on relaxing and enjoying our time together.

Meijer Gardens

We took the boys to Meijer Gardens on Monday in an attempt to help them forget that the counselors were gone. First thing Friday morning, Jack came into our room crying because the counselors were leaving and he didn't want them to go home. Which, of course, made me want to cry.

It was a really good summer.

Anyway, we were trying to come up with something fun and new to do on Monday in an attempt to ease them into life without 70+ people to dote on them at all times. We have a zoo membership and have been there quite a few times already, so we opted for Frederik Meijer Gardens because we had never been there before.

We really enjoyed it! There was enough to do, without being overwhelming. We didn't get to everything, so we'd like to go back. It was a little pricey, so we'll likely wait until next summer for a return visit.

I wish I had more pictures of the flowers and sculptures, but I ended up with plenty of the boys!

You can see all of our pictures here.

Welcome, Ellie

Ellie Michelle was born on March 31.


Say what you will . . . I have the cutest nieces.



This was taken just moments after I explained to her that I'd be subjecting her to this photographing ritual many times throughout her life.


Newborn sessions aren't complete without a shot of their toes, right?



And let's not forget her lovely big sister . . . she was great through everything and cooperated beautifully!

Kevin

Kyle's brother graduates from high school this year. Which makes me feel old. He was 10 when we got married. Is that right? Almost 11? How long have we been married? How old am I?

Anyway, I took one round of senior pictures about a week ago, and another round on Monday. I kept waiting until I had the second round edited before posting any, but, well . . . at this rate, it'll be a little while. So here are a few of my favorites so far.

I've noticed that when I upload pictures to blogger, they come out looking fuzzy and distorted. Hopefully, embedding from flickr will clear that up. Or maybe not. Visit my flickr page to see more.

Emma

Today was Emma's turn for pictures. Remember last year . . .


Here are a few shots from our time together today . . . as usual, more to come.

Easter 2009

Jack participated in his first Easter egg hunt at camp on the day before Easter. There were 8400 eggs hidden and there was a section marked off for ages 0 - 4. I was shocked at how many parents were shoveling eggs into their kids' baskets! Sure, there was a chance to win a bike, but most of the kids were just going to go home with candy and trinkets. It was interesting.


But Jack and his cousin, Emma, had a good time. We were all there for the experience more than the reward! Don't let the sunshine fool you. It was FREEZING.


From there, we drove to my parents house and spent Saturday night and Easter Sunday with them. My parents got Jack a Mr. Potato head . . . the pieces of which are virtually impossible to keep contained. I think he's gone through every possible combination of eyes, ears, noses, mouths, etc. that are possible. He also had his first Easter egg dying experience with my parents on Saturday afternoon.



And he hunted for the eggs at my parents' house on Easter morning.


We gave him an Easter basket containing plastic eggs filled with goldfish crackers, a coloring book, bath crayons, a Memory game, a new cup, and some books. And we filled the basket with "grass" made out of shredded catalogs, like we did last year.


He wore his first neck tie on Easter, and looked great, if I do say so myself. I wish we would have snapped a family picture at some point. He was very proud of the fact he was wearing a neck tie and continued to ask for it even after we took it off.



Jack with my cousin, Gianna:


You can see all of our Easter pictures here.

And I've finally posted all of our Disney pictures here.

To Ohio and back

Kyle is in Detroit all day for the games, so I decided to join my parents and take Jack to visit my grandma in Ohio. My parents didn't tell my grandma that we were coming and she seemed really excited to see us! And by "us" I mean "Jack."

He was so well behaved today! Nap time was a little rough, but he eventually fell asleep. There were no time outs and very few warnings. Of course, he usually do well when he has 4 - 5 people paying him all kinds of attention. Especially when all of those people think he's the most amazing little boy ever. He was cracking all of us up with some of the things he said. Unfortunately, I'm too tired right now to remember any of them.

Jack definitely looks like more like Kyle than he does me, but when I'm with my family (specifically, with my grandma) I'm reminded of how much I look like her, and how much Jack's smile resembles hers. We don't get down there as much as I wish we did, so I'm glad it worked out for us to go today. My other three grandparents have all passed away, which makes me value time with my grandma even more.

Allow me to introduce . . .

My friend Debbie has been reading my blog faithfully for the last year or so. Probably even longer. I know this because when we get together, I'll start telling stories and she'll finish them. Or she'll ask me about things that I wrote. I love this about Debbie.

5 years ago this month, when Debbie was 16 (I think right before her 17th birthday . . . correct me if I'm wrong), her mom passed away after struggling with breast cancer. While losing a parent is hard for anyone, a precarious family situation made this even more difficult for Debbie. Fortunately, she has an aunt and uncle who stepped in as parents during her senior year and she called their home her home during college.

Shortly after her mom died, she started dating Brian, Kyle's cousin. That's how I first got to know her. I could have started out this post by saying "Kyle's cousin, Debbie" but that doesn't feel right. Because even though we're family now (she and Brian were married in June), she's a dear friend.

All that to say, she started a blog called "Dear Mom: Life without you". The title of her first post was "I'm not crazy, I just miss you." I loved her first two posts and thought I'd pass the link along. I really like the idea of her writing about her life as if she's talking to her mom.

I write this because I know that several of you who read my blog have lost parents or close loved ones over the last year and you can relate. Even if you haven't, Debbie is an excellent writer and I know that you'll enjoy her blog.

So, take a look. Add her to your blog reader. Enjoy!

Family Vacation

We had a great vacation last week, but like I said on Monday, it's good to be home.

We started the week out with my parents, aunt and uncle and cousins. We visited Fife Lake, where many of my family on my mom's side originated. We spent some time at the cemetery where much of my family is buried. I learned a lot about those who came before me. We then went on to Traverse City and Petoskey where we ate, shopped and relaxed. You can see pictures of that trip here.

After my family left, we drove to Boyne City to meet Kyle's family. We camped in a tent all week . . . which went better than I thought it would. The only drawbacks were the rain and the cold nights. We didn't realize that the rain fly on our tent leaked until it had been raining for over an hour on Tuesday morning. Jack's crib was soaked, our bed was wet, and water was beginning to pool on the floor of the tent. Thank goodness that we were camping with family . . . Kyle's dad and brother-in-law really helped us get things fixed and dried out. The other issue was that it got down into the 40's most nights and we didn't bring a heater. Why would we? It's JULY! Fortunately, Kyle's parents found one for us that kept us fairly cozy.


We spent a couple of afternoons at the beach and took the boat out one afternoon. Other than that, we relaxed at our camp site.



We spent a little time in Traverse City and ended the week with dinner at the park in Petoskey. Did I mention that when I say that we were on vacation with "Kyle's family," I meant all 34 of us?


You can see more pictures from our trip here.