This is what little sisters are for.

As overheard in the car this week . . .

Claire: Ben? Ben? Ben?

Ben: What?

Claire: You cwanky, Ben?

Ben: No.

Claire: Ben? Ben? Ben?

Ben: What, Claire?

Claire: You cwanky?

Ben: I already said I'm not.

Claire: Ben? Ben? Ben?

Ben: I don't want to talk right now.

Claire: You cwanky right now?

One of my favorite compliments

"Hey mom, can you build this with me?"

"Actually, that looks like something you'd be better off building with Dad," I responded.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"He's just better at that kind of thing. You know how Dad's better at some things and Mom's better at others?"

"Yeah, like you're really good at cuddling."

"I'm so glad you think so! I love cuddling with you."

That was such a great compliment . . . but it didn't stop there.

"You know what else I like about you?"

"What?"

"Your feels."

"Uh . . .my what?" I asked, though I wasn't completely sure I wanted to know what he meant.

"You know . . . your feels. Like when I feel you, you're soft and warm or when you scratch my back it feels so good."

I know the day is coming where he'll be reluctant to hug me and he'll be too big to sit in my lap, so this conversation is one that I'll remember for a long, long time.

Jack's take . . .

ON GETTING OLDER.

Jack: How old are you?

Rose: Really, really old.

Jack: But how old is that?

Rose: I'm 35.

Jack: No way . . . you have way too many wrinkles to be 35.

ON VEGGIES.

Dan: Are you eating your vegetables?

Jack: No. I'm eating carrots.

Dan: Carrots are vegetables.

Jack: No, they're fruits.

Dan: Let's take a vote . . . who here says carrots are vegetables?

*All adults raise their hands*

Jack: Hmm . . . I think we should pray about this.


ON HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY.

"Hey mom, can my birthday theme be "Superheroes saving animals from bad guys.""

"Hmmm . . . how about just Superheroes?"

"Yeah, but I don't think they're very super if they're not saving anything."

I drew picture

Ben: MOM! I drew picture!

Me: Wow, thanks Ben! What color did you use?

Ben: One, two, three, four.

Me: No, what color did you use?

Ben: This one.

Me: What color is that?

Ben: Circle and triangle.

Me: No, tell me the color of the marker that you used.

Ben: On white paper.

It felt like he was doing it on purpose . . .

As overheard at bedtime . . .

Kyle: Why do you think God wants us to know him?

Jack: Because it's the sensible thing to do.


When did my 3-year-old turn 40?

Jack's bedtime prayer . . .

Dear Jes . . . uh . . . heavenly Father, thank you for today.

Help Ben's boo boo to get better.

Help me go poopy.

Alright, let's go to sleep . . . we've got a big day tomorrow.

Amen.

As overheard after voting

Kyle: Who'd you vote for for school board?

Me: Who do you think? There really wasn't a race . . . there were the same number of candidates as there were open positions.

Kyle: I know.

Me: Why? Did you write me in?

Kyle (laughing): That board would be in a world of hurt if you were ever elected.

Me: I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

As heard during "nap" time Friday afternoon

Me: Jack, why did you do that?

Jack: I was disobeying you.

Me: Why?

Jack: I was just pretending.

Me: Pretending to disobey me?

Jack: Pretending to be the Israelites.

The night before preschool

Jack starts preschool tomorrow and our conversation at bedtime tonight went something like this:

Jack: School starts tomorrow.

Me: Yes, it does.

Jack: So today's the last day of summer, huh?

Me: Um yeah, I guess so . . . who told you that?

Jack: No one. So, what if there's a 'mergency when I'm at school?

Me: They'll call me and I'll rush right there.

Jack: What if a police officer gives you a ticket?

Me: For what?

Jack: For rushing.

Me: I'll tell him I'm on my way to an emergency.

Jack: Oh. Will you pray for me before I go to school tomorrow?

Me: Sure. And I probably won't stop for the next 15 years or so.

As overheard at bedtime tonight

I was singing "It is Well" to Jack at bedtime, and we were on the verse that says, "my sin, not in part, but the whole."

Jack: What does "not in part but the whole" mean?
Me: Hmmm . . .well, it means that Jesus died to save us from ALL of our sin, not just part of it.
Jack: What sin?
Me: Well, everything we do that is disobedient to God. It's called sin.
Jack: Why did those bad men put Jesus on the cross?
Me: They didn't understand who he was. They didn't believe that Jesus was who he said he was.
Jack: Because they were skunks?
Me: Yes, because they were skunks.
Jack: I believe Jesus. Not the skunks.
Me: I'm so glad to hear that.

He reflected for a moment and almost fell asleep.

Jack: So, who did Moses die for?

As overheard yesterday afternoon

Jack: Can I put a pull up on?

Me: Um, no. Why do you ask?

Jack: My underpants aren't very faithful.

Me: What?

Jack: My underpants. They aren't faithful.

Me: Huh? What does that mean?

Jack: They always let the pee pee through.

As heard in the car yesterday

Alternate title: Why I feel like I need a vacation after an hour in the car with Jack . . .

Jack: Why did you turn that way?

Me: Because this is the way to Grandma's house.

Jack: NOOOOOO! Not this way! Grandma lives in Allen Park!

Me: I know, and this is the way to Allen Park.

Jack: Where are we now?

Me: Somerset.

Jack: Where are we now?

Me: Still in Somerset.

Jack: Where are . .

Me: I'll let you know when we leave Somerset, OK?


2 minutes of blessed silence.


Jack: Are we still in Somerset?

Me: Oh shoot, no. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.

Jack: That's ok. I forgive you. Where are we now?

Me: Liberty.

Jack: What town is Allen Park in?

Me: Allen Park is a town. Actually, a city.

Jack: Yeah, but what town is it in?

Me: It's not in a town, buddy, it is a town.

Jack: But what town is it in?

Me: It's not in any town. Allen Park is the town.

Jack: TELL ME WHAT TOWN IT'S IN!

Me: It's in Wayne County, OK?

Jack: Thank you . . . finally! I forgive you.

Very, very short pause.

Jack: What town is Wayne County in?

True words

I've been trying to teach Jack to "use his words" when he gets angry. When he's in time out, I'll sit next to him and ask him how he's feeling and try and get him to explain to me why he feels that way, in an effort to show him there are other ways to express himself than SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF.

However, I think this morning's conversation is a little too telltale of the bad habits I'm passing to him . . .

When he was in time out and I asked, "How are you feeling right now?"

"Um, kinda bad because dad wouldn't let me go out to the garage, because there's stuff out there, because I wanted to."

Then I asked, "What do we do when we feel bad?"

"We go out to eat."

Hmmm . . .

As overheard when I was about to surprise Jack with cheese-its for a snack . . .

Me: Jack! I have a surprise for you!

Jack: Is it a Wii?

Me: Oh . . . um, no.

Jack: Are we going to the Treehouse?

Me: Uh, nope.

Jack: What's my su'prise?

Me: Nevermind.

As heard Friday morning . . .

Jack: Cam I watch a show?

Me: Not right now.

Jack: Cam I?! PLEEEEASE!

Me: Ask your dad.

Jack: Cam I watch a show, dad?

Kyle: Not right now. A little later.

Jack: I not want to wait! Please, please, please, please, please! PLeeeease!

Kye: What did I tell you?

Silence.

Jack: Cam I watch a show now?

Kyle: I'll tell you when it's time.

Jack: Please, please, please, please, please . . . now?

Me: Jack, I think baby brother likes hearing you talk. Come talk to him!

Jack (in high pitched voice): Hi baby brother. I want to play with you.

Silence.

Jack: I hear baby brother talking!

Me: Oh yeah?

Kyle: What's he saying?

Jack (in a whisper): He say wants to wants to watch Little Einsteins.



Is this kid serious?

A typical breakfast conversation.

It truly is an act of God that mothers of 2-year-olds stay sane.

Me: Do you want bananas on your toast?

Jack: Yeah.

Me: Yes . . . ?

Jack: Yes, pease.

Me: Here you go.

Jack: NO BANANAS ON MY TOAST.

Me: That's what you wanted.

Jack: I want cookies, intead.

Me: No. Not for breakfast.

Jack: Cam I have cookies?

Me: No.

Jack: Why?

Me: Because we don't eat cookies for breakfast.

Jack: Why?

Me: Because I said so.

Jack: WHy?

Me: Why not?

Jack: YOu should not say, 'Why not!' . . . Where we going today?

Me: Nowhere. We're staying home today.

Jack fake cries for about 30 seconds.

Jack: Where we go desterday?

Me: The library and the store.

Jack: Oh.

Jack: Are we going that way today (pointing out the window)?

Me: Nope.

Jack: Why?

Me: Because I said so.

Jack: Why?

Me: Why not?

Jack: YOu should not say, 'Why not!' . . . What kind of orange juice are you drinking?

Me: The same kind you are.

Jack: The orange kind?

Me: Yep.

Jack: Why?

Me: Why not?

Jack: YOu should not say, 'Why not!' . . . I want to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Come inside, it's fun inside.

Me: Maybe later, but not right now.

Jack fake cries for 30 seconds and becomes intrigued by the bug on the window.

Jack: What's that bug doing?

Me: Crawling.

Jack: Why?

Me: Why not?

Jack: YOu should not say, 'Why not!' . . . A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, Y, J, K, L-M-N-O-P, Q, S, T, V, X, Z . . . next time sing with me. What am I doing, Mama?

Me: I don't know. What are you doing.

Jack: I'm a robot, they do it like this!

Me: Are you all done?

Jack: NO! . . . Okie, dokie.

Me: So, are you done?

Jack: NO! I'm playing hide and seek with my toast!

Me: Alright, you're done.

Jack: I'm NOT DONE!

Me: Put your food on your plate. We don't play with it.

Jack: Why?

Guilt trips? Already?

Me: Do you want grapes or bananas with breakfast?

Jack: Um, how 'bout some butter?

Me: No, grapes or bananas.

Jack: Ok. French toast, please.

That first conversation of the morning pretty much summed up how today went. Jack's been relatively happy with only a few melt downs, but very determined to get his own way.

This evening, he asked if I'd play a game with him and I told him that I couldn't because I was making dinner.

So, he looked up at me and said, "I want to be happy! You want me to not be happy, Mama? You want to be happy wif me, Mama?"

Seriously. He's two years old. If he's already starting this stuff, what will life be like when he's 13?

Small conversations, big blessings

We made a last minute trip to Target today to pick some things up for our trip (more on that later). I was half-listening to the broadcast from Crown Financial. I don't usually listen to talk radio, but my mind was wondering and I just didn't change the station.

Anyway, on the broadcast, they were talking about how God uses our money. They kept talking about God doing things with our money.

Jack had been pretty quiet and he asked, "What God do with money?"

I responded by saying, "Everything we have comes from God and belongs to him . . . we're just stewards of what he's given us." And then I realized that he has no idea what the word "steward" means.

So I told him that our money comes from God and our food comes from God and our house comes from God. Over the next minute or so, we named all kinds of things and talked about how they come from God . . . our clothes, our cars, etc.

I was so blessed by this conversation. When we stopped talking for a minute, I was a little teary and just thanked God for using my two-year-old to remind me of an important lesson that I needed to remember today. Everything we have comes from God and every success we gain is by his strength, not ours.

Jack had been quiet for a minute and then said, "God buy me popcorn combo at Target?"

I just laughed. I should have told him to start praying about it.

He giggled too when he realized he said something funny and said, "Mama love going Target with me?"

Yes. Yes, I do.

As heard during the pre-nap diaper change

Me: I love you buddy.

Jack: Love you more.

Me: No, I love you more.

Jack: Love you more!

Me: No, I love you more.

Jack: Oh, alright.

Every word he says

Yes, I'm becoming the sterotypical "mommy blogger" . . . posting, seemingly, every word that comes out of my child's mouth. But it's my blog. And someday, I'll want to look back and remember this stuff. Either that, or someday I'll look back and make fun of myself . . . that's a distinct possibility.

*****

Jack's favorite expressions:

"Ai yai yai"

"So escited!"

"Yikes!"

"Oh, buddy."

"Oh my gosh" and "Oh my goodness" Though, we're trying to keep him from saying these things. I don't know why, but they just don't sound great coming from a 22 month old.

"Sorry, obey . . . sorry, obey!" He's usually saying this as we walk him to time out.

*****

Kyle: What time did you wake up from your nap, buddy?

Jack: Midnight

Um, no, but how does he even know what midnight is? Where is he picking up this stuff?!

*****

The typical conversation between us and Jack goes something like this:

Jack: Jack have hertithith?

Me: What did you say?

Jack: Yeah. Have it

Me: No, I don't know what you're saying. What do you want?

Jack: Yeah.

It's so frustrating for both of us.

*****

Here's another conversation we had from yesterday in which I was totally busted.

Jack: More hot dog, please.

Me: No more hot dog, but you can have more broccoli.

Jack: More hot dog, please.

Me: Jack, the hot dog is all gone. We don't have any more. But you can have more broccoli.

Jack: (Scanning the room and then pointing toward the 1/2 hot dog that I had forgotten to put away) There hot dog! Found it, mommy!

That's what I deserve for lying to my child, I suppose.