ON GETTING OLDER.
Jack: How old are you?
Rose: Really, really old.
Jack: But how old is that?
Rose: I'm 35.
Jack: No way . . . you have way too many wrinkles to be 35.
Dan: Are you eating your vegetables?
Jack: No. I'm eating carrots.
Dan: Carrots are vegetables.
Jack: No, they're fruits.
Dan: Let's take a vote . . . who here says carrots are vegetables?
*All adults raise their hands*
Jack: Hmm . . . I think we should pray about this.
ON HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY.
"Hey mom, can my birthday theme be "Superheroes saving animals from bad guys.""
"Hmmm . . . how about just Superheroes?"
"Yeah, but I don't think they're very super if they're not saving anything."