September 19, 2009


I've been taking the opportunity to regularly cuddle with Jack at naptime and bedtime. I know I'm probably creating yet another bad sleep habit, but I'm realizing that he won't always want me to climb into bed and cuddle with him and I feel like taking advantage of it while I can.

That said, I do have some rules about cuddle time. Otherwise, he'd NEVER fall asleep.

So today, I climbed into bed and said, "OK, head on the pillow, eyes closed, no talking, legs on the bed."

Jack grabbed my chin in his hand and said, "You forgot somefing."

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Keep your hands to yourself."

Hmmm . . . I guess I can't complain that he doesn't listen. When did he get so grown up? I have a feeling that in a week, he'll look even more grown up than he does now . . . in comparison to our new little guy, that is.

Because a week from now, I'll either have a baby or be in the hospital still trying to have one. I'm scheduled to go in Thursday night to begin to be induced. There are SO MANY varying opinions on the safety of being induced vs. the safety of going any farther past my due date. Trust me . . . I've heard them all. But I decided to go ahead and stick with 8 days past due (it'll actually be 9 by the time they start the pitocin . . . maybe 10 if it takes a while). I'm still praying like CRAZY that he'll come sooner. Like tonight.

As much as I'm ready (R-E-A-D-Y) for this baby to come now, I've started to be a little bit sad about this pregnancy being over. I'm confronted with wondering if this will be my last time pregnant and wanting to just soak it all up. To be quite honest, I'm still STUNNED that I'm pregnant. I know . . . it's been 34ish weeks that I've known, but I still can't believe it.

This relationship that we have right now . . . just he and I together ALL the time . . . I'll miss that a little once he arrives. I know it sounds contrary to all of my whining for the last few days (if you've kept up with me on twitter or facebook).

I'm ready to be able to take deep breaths again. I'm ready to be able to bend over. I'm ready for sitting down and standing up to no longer be athletic events. And, I'm excited to meet my youngest little boy. But there is a part of me that feels just a little bit sentimental about the whole thing.


Sara Neufeld said...

Oh, I remember feeling that wanting to be done being pregnant but also sad over not getting to be pregnant anymore. Right after I had my babies, for about a month, I'd be sad when I saw a pregnant all the anticipation was over and I just wanted to go back to that for just a little bit. It's a complicated feeling for sure.
Praying for you this week.:)

Kelli said...

i can totally relate to that thought of holding on because it may be the last pregancy...just wait until he arrives. i have been so sad every time paisley hits a new milestone because it means that she is getting older and our baby days are done (probably). i cried when her umbilical cord fell off! so not like me.

hang in there & cherish these last new days as a family of 3...but remember 4 ain't so bad, in fact it's great.

Anonymous said...

I'll just second what these ladies have already said...been there! Totally normal for you to kind of mourn these last days of pregnancy and the last days of family of 3. But it's going to be so much fun, I promise, to be a family of 4 (or more, as I don't want to exclude my own youngest).

Sarah said... quickly I've forgotten the perils of pregnancy!! This made me smile thinking about the short breaths and what effort it took to get launched out of bed or off the couch. :) Now I've moved on to mastering one-handed typing!...not really there yet!

Smith Family Blog said...

Oh my goodness, I totally understand. I had forgotten about how sad I was in the week before having ZuZu. How I just wanted to have Moses with me ALL THE TIME.

I won't lie-- we are still adjusting. I'm still trying to find the balance between kids. BUT, I can honestly say that none of us (including Moses) really remember what life was like without ZuZu. It's like she's always been one of us, just like it's supposed to be.