Not sleeping

I'm laying in our room at Kyle's grandparents house "taking a nap." But I don't actually nap. For me, napping is more like resting my eyes. I can't if it's daylight outside. Even if I'm in a completely dark room, in the middle of the day, after having been up for 24 hours straight, my body still won't let me nap. I think there might have been one time right after Jack was born that I drifted off for 15 minutes or so after nursing him. And I remember waking up thinking, "WHOA! Did I really just fall asleep during the day?!" I'm just not wired that way.

And, the other weird thing is that I only get one shot at sleep every night. If I have to get up out of bed, no matter how long I've been sleeping, there's no going back to sleep for me. I might lay in bed for a few hours with my eyes closed, but I rarely fall back to sleep. Which is why Kyle would normally be the one to get up when Jack was younger and bring him to me so that I wouldn't have to wake all the way up. But on the occasions that I did wake all the way up, my day had begun. Whether it be 1:30 or 6:30. And of course, I couldn't make up for it with a nap. I will say that I got a lot more done when Jack was little because I'd be doing laundry or cleaning in the early hours of the morning!

I'm so odd.

I think Jack will someday be like this too. He's never really slept much. He was down to one nap a day by 8 months and there are some days I think he'd skip over his afternoon nap now if I didn't lay him down.

It's not that I don't get tired. Actually, I've been constantly exhausted for the last, oh, 10 weeks or so. And not being able to nap during the day means that I'm always cranky and I'm usually in bed by 8:30. I'm hoping that baby #2 might cause some sort of chemical/hormonal change in me that will allow me more flexible sleep patterns.

But I'm not holding my breath.