July 25, 2007

Thoughts on cleaning the refrigerator . . .

I cleaned out the refrigerator tonight. This project was inspired by an incident on Monday that involved JJ trying to make a quesadilla and pulling out way moldy cheese . . . mildly embarrassing. Now that everything that is too old to eat has been cleaned out, we have a jar of the best pickles ever, a few random condiments, some good cheese, and stuff for campfire pizzas (which will probably go bad before we get a chance to eat it . . . I have not been to a single campfire this summer - tragic).

The most interesting thing I found in the back of the fridge was a few boxes of the gonal-f injections that we used to help us get pregnant. They expire next week. I was having trouble throwing them out because it is more than $1200 worth of medicine that will just end up wasted. I won't throw them out a day before they expire. I don't know why. That's just a lot of money I wish I could get back. I just remember feeling so hopeless.

It's weird that we were going through all of the infertility stuff last year because it seems like forever ago. It feels good that I have my baby in my arms as I type this. It makes the fact that I'll be throwing out $1200 worth of meds next week seem worth it.

I realized last night that as I've been thinking about our financial situation, I'm not worried about having enough for today. I'm worried about never having enough money to retire (ever). While I still have nagging fears about that, I think I need to worry about today and trust that God will take care of 30 years from now. I guess that's easy to say now, but I have a feeling that in the morning I'll still be stressed. God help me.

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