January 29, 2010

Feeling: Guilty

I dropped Jack off with my mom this afternoon for a weekend of fun with grandma and grandpa. Jack and I were alone in the car on the way and he was really quiet. I asked him if he was excited and he said, "Yeah." About a minute later he said, "Stop getting rid of me."

"Wait, what did you say?"

"I don't want you to get rid of me anymore."

I don't know if he said anything after that, because all I could hear was the sound of my heart breaking inside of my chest. He didn't sound upset, and he wasn't cranky. He just sounded sad.

Of course, I explained to him that I loved him and would never get rid of him. I told him that he would have so much fun with grandma and I wouldn't be able to wait to see him again on Sunday.

I'm sure it's nothing. He was tired and and needed a nap. And when he saw grandma, he was nothing but excited to go to her house. But I thought back over the last two weeks and I've dropped him off with other people more in the last two weeks than I have in his entire life combined. Up until now, babysitters have always come to him, or he's gone to his grandma's house. Even in the summer when he's with a babysitter all day, he comes with us to work and stays there all day while we work.

It's definitely got me thinking.

1 comment:

Alison said...

Show him the lines in his palm that make the letter "M" and tell him they are there to remind him of your love... like you 'signed' his hand so that when you aren't together he can always hold his palm over his heart/face for a little mommy kiss!!