If only I knew . . .

So, it was a year ago tomorrow that we discovered that our first IUI using gonal-f did not work and that we were, in fact, not pregnant . . . again. Now, I'm typing with one hand because I'm holding my baby in my other. It's a good feeling. As we've hit the one and two year anniversaries of our journey through infertility, I find myself constantly thinking, "If only I had known then how well it would turn ou I wouldn't have worried so much." Today I'm reminded that God is as faithful today as he has been over the last three years and I need to be thinking, "If I could only understand fully how God is working all of these things for good, I wouldn't be so worried."

Don't get me wrong . . . I think God is faithful in every situation but I don't think that retrospect always brings total understanding to every situation. When someone dies, you grieve. When someone hurts you, you feel pain. I don't think you ever look back 10 years later and think, "If I knew then what I know today, I wouldn't have spent so much time hurting and healing." I'm merely speaking of not worrying so much because God will take care of me . . . even if it's in a way different than I would expect. There are other situations in which good comes in spite of the circumstances rather than through them. I hope I'm not too confusing.


There are some pictures posted below, but click here to see more.

Here are some links to past blogs:

6 weeks
One month
3 weeks
Summer 07
Newborn

Jack at 10 weeks old: