August 21, 2008

On marriage

Last year around this time, the marriages of about 4 different couples that we know seemed to be crumbling. We felt like our friends were living in war zones they way their relationships were taking hits. This year, again, it's a second wave of this kind of thing. It always leaves me stunned and asking the question, "How does this happen?"

The more I think about it, the more I realize that there's a naive danger in thinking "that could never happen to us." I think that too often, married couples can develop this false sense of security that keeps us from putting work into our marriages and protecting them from the things that seek to tear them apart.

As dumb as it may sound, sometimes I forget that marriage takes work. Loving someone . . . I mean loving them really well, takes a lot of effort.

I wasn't able to attend Bud's funeral a few weeks ago. When Kyle got home, he told me about some of the tributes people had written.

Bud's first wife died probably close to 20 years ago. I'm not sure, but I don't think Bud would say that his marriage was perfect or that they never had problems. I don't think Bud was a Christian when he married her, and he said himself that he was a little rough around the edges back then.

During Bud's funeral, his son said that when his mom died, the doctor said that she lived 4 - 5 years longer than she should have simply because of how well Bud took care of her. His son told of the sacrifices Bud made to love her and to be there with her. I want to be that kind of spouse.

4 comments:

Minnie said...

Thanks for the reminder.

I think we all need one every once in a while.

Elisa said...

Very well written, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Sarah said...

you make me cry....

Annie said...

You are right on with your observations. We have an enemy who crouches at our door...