June 21, 2008

Rated PG-13 for Some Adult Language

This is one of those stories that blogs were created for . . .

Kyle had to get some supplies from Lansing for the paintball class next week, so we decided to make an afternoon of it and go to the outlet shops in Howell. A few of our staff went with us too. All in all, shopping was miserable for me because Jack was in rare form, but I came home with one story that made it all worth it.

While I was waiting in line to pay at the very first store, there was an Asian couple behind me. They were smiling at Jack (who was fully clothed, by the way) and talking back and forth to each other, but I didn't understand a word of what they were saying.

After a minute or two, the woman looks at me and says, "You son look like he have large penis."


"Excuse me?" I knew that her accent caused me to misunderstand her.

But she smiled and replied, "You son look like he have large penis."

BLINK, BLINK. No misunderstanding there.

What do you say to this? Is there any appropriate response? Was I supposed to ask them how they could tell? Should I have confirmed or denied their estimation? Should I have offered to show them? Should I have been polite and said, "Thank you?"

I responded with nervous laughter. They smiled a laughed a little too. When I left the store, however, my inner-twelve-year-old came out and I lost it. I looked in the windows of all of the stores I passed to see if I could see any of our staff because I couldn't wait to tell someone what had JUST HAPPENED.

I'm thinking that they meant to say something quite different . . . and that what they were trying to communicate got lost in translation. Here are a few of my guesses:
  1. "Your son looks like he'll grow to be a big boy." Perhaps they confused a few, um, gender related terms?

  2. "Your son pees quite a bit." I realized shortly after that Jack had, in fact, peed through his diaper, though the spot on his shorts was so small and mostly hidden by the stroller that I think it might have been hard for them to see.

  3. "Your son's diaper is rather big." I will admit that the shorts he had on today did make his diaper look big beneath them.
I don't know who those people are, and I don't know what language it was exactly that they were speaking . . . but I suspect that I will never forget meeting them.


Heather S. said...

Oh my goodness! That's all I can say!

Sara Neufeld said...

Yes, I think you should have offered to show them.

Simply Me... said...

I'm with heather, what do you say! Hmmm... to bad someone else wasn't with you at the time:( I'm sorry that happen to you.


Phil said...


So many comments that COULD have been said...you're a better person than I...because I DEFINITELY would have said one of them.

Sarah said...

Oh. my. goodness!!! I SO wish I had been there. Cracking up!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh. My.

Just, hilarious.

Jeanette said...

You should have said, "you too" and walked out. You know the inappropriate "you too" phrase.

That is the funniest story (and I'm really laughing while I type this, not just giving you lip service). How do these things happen to you? I mean, you should write a book.

heather.snider said...

Thank you for that laugh!!

Leslie said...

Wow . . . that is strange! lol! I wonder what they meant.

ann said...

My...goodness. I don't even know what to write because I'm laughing so hard.