November 16, 2007

To a blogger who wrote about things she doesn't understand

Dear mother of three of your own biological children,

I am the mother of a son, who was conceived using Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART). Thankfully, for him and for me, the right and privilege to experience pregnancy and bear a child is not reserved solely for those who have no trouble conceiving. It is so easy to place pressure on infertile couples to adopt using the phrase "there are so many children who need homes." Also, it is ignorant to refer to couples who use ART as "selfish."

My question for you is this: What stopped you from adopting instead of having children of your own? Are you "off the hook" from this tremendous responsibility because your ovaries function properly? Every couple has their own reasons for choosing a method of becoming parents. Adoption is a fantastic option for parents who want children, and there are, in fact, a lot of children out there who need good parents. I have no issues with adoption and may consider it as an option for the future. However, I do have issues with those who treat adoption as a "fad" that can be written about so flippantly.

If we were to live out your argument fully, there would be no planned pregnancies. Couples would never try to get pregnant. Anyone who wanted a child of their own would adopt babies that came as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. My child wouldn't be here. Neither would any of yours.

The choice of how to bring a child into one's home should never be forced.


P.S. It's spelled "families." Not "familys."

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