The Claw

Have you ever seen the episode of Friends where Chandler gets “the claw?” It’s the one where he plays an arcade game for so long that his hand molds to the shape of the joystick and looks like a claw. I’ve developed a claw. My right hand is so numb and achy (which seems like an oxymoron, but unfortunately is not) from pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome that I can’t get it wrapped around anything with using my left hand to manually move my thumb. It looks like a prosthetic hand when I try and pick up a glass, pencil, or anything else. Typing is even becoming more difficult.

I’ve also developed cankles. Full-blown cankles. Only at night though. On Wednesday night my ankles were the same width as my claves. It’s ridiculous.

I really am just trying to make fun of myself rather than complaining here. I know that every pregnant woman goes through what I’m going through and I have no reason to complain. Most people have it much worse. I do find myself rolling my eyes though when I hear people who are 20 weeks pregnant complain about being uncomfortable and tired. I know that I probably complained at that point too, but I really don’t think I got too whiny until a couple of weeks ago.

We had our 34 week check-up on Wednesday. Once again, my weight brought me to tears. It’s going to take me years to get back to my original weight. Years. However, the baby is healthy. The doctor couldn’t get a heartbeat long enough to be able to record it because the baby was moving so much. He asked if he always move this much. Every day except for Easter Sunday he does. The great news is that his head is down. That's my boy . . . ready to go!

The highlight of my trip to the doctor’s office, however, can be summarized by the following equation:

Very Pregnant Woman + Tight, thin white sweat pants + Hot pink thong =
Way inappropriate.

We had to wait for 50 minutes before our appointment, but this lady made it all worth it. You couldn't not look. It was so horrific that you couldn't turn your head away. She had two young kids with her and looked like she was about to pop the third out any day. What possessed her to wear thin, tight white pants with a hot pink thong? Not anything fashionable, that’s for sure.