June 14, 2007

Post-partum thoughts

I’m not sure how to summarize everything that’s gone on over the last week and a half, but here are some random things:

I hate looking pregnant still. Yes, my belly has gone down significantly, but I feel like people still think I look pregnant. I had one person say to me, “You had the baby . . . why do you still look pregnant?” No, it was not a 5-year-old girl. It was a 25-year-old girl. I, of course, left in tears. I know it’s true, but I hated to be reminded of it.

I packed up all of my long-sleeved maternity shirts on Monday. I still wear a lot of the short-sleeved ones. My closet looks really empty. I wish I could just figure out how to make my belly go away faster. I was never super-skinny to begin with, but I just want to look normal again.

My mom came and stayed with me from Wednesday to Saturday and I’m not sure what I would have done without her. She helped so much with Jack and kept me company while Kyle was gone. This kid is lucky to have so many loving grandparents!

Kyle and I took Jack on his first shopping trip on Sunday. He slept the whole time with the exception of when we nursed in the car while Kyle ran into a store. He went to Target, Kohl’s and Home Depot.

We’ve had some good nights, we’ve had some bad nights. Overall, he’s a pretty good baby. Even when he’s keeping us up to the wee hours of the morning, I just look at him and remember what a miracle he is. How could I complain about such a wonderful little boy?!

He nurses well . . . most of the time. Sometimes I feel like there’s no way I’m feeding him frequently enough. Other times, I’m not sure where he puts it!

I kind of went back to work this week. Actually, not kind of. I did go back to work. I did the staff training sessions that I usually do (all of last week the other staff members covered for us). I got ready for the upcoming summer. I’m hoping once camps hit, I won’t be needed as much so I can spend more time with Jack. I feel a little guilty about toting him around so much this week. I started to feel a little bitter too when I realized that if I had him September I could have just stayed home with him for 8 weeks straight. I should make it clear that Dave made it clear to me that if I didn’t come in all summer, it was ok because I needed to take some time for maternity leave . . . so it’s not like I’m a slave to SBC at all. I feel lucky to work in such a flexible environment.

Just an update . . . my carpal tunnel has not gone away. I still have the claw. The swollen ankles have gone down quite a bit but are still pretty puffy at the end of the day. HOW MUCH LONGER?!

Well, Jack’s sleeping, so I should be too. I’ll do my best to keep up with this a little more regularly now that I’m caught up.

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