What we've been doing . . .

You know how sometimes people are unaware of their own injuries and trauma because of the adrenaline pumping through their system after an accident?   But then after a little while, the evidence of the trauma is more obvious and they lose consciousness after the adrenaline wanes?

Wait, is that even true?  Or did I see it on Grey's Anatomy?  Everything I know about medicine is thanks to Ellen Pompeo and Sandra Oh. 

Anyway, I just sat down in Panera for a few minutes while Jack is at a pirate art class and that kind of happened to me.  I was feeling ready to get some work done, but about 5 minutes after getting here, I was nodding off.  Just sitting here at my computer, with my  fingers in the ready position and my eyes closed.  I've been running on adrenaline.

This is our first week of camps, after two weeks of pretty intense staff training.  It's going well, but it's hard. Juggling that schedule, the schedules of three kids, all while maintaining sanity is proving to be more difficult this year than ever before.  Maybe we're getting too old to keep up.  Maybe it's having three kids.  I don't know for sure, but I'm exhausted.

Jack's in Adventure Day Camp this year and I have to physically restrain myself from going over and asking him how he's doing and making sure he's wearing sunscreen every time I see him.  Kyle and I trained the counselors . . . we know that they're awesome . . . we have no doubts . . . so what is my problem?

I saw Jack walking with a group of friends on Monday and he waved.  I waved back and blew him a kiss and instantly wished I could take it back as I saw him smirk and his face turn red.  He looked away, embarrassed that I would show any sort of affection toward him IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS.  But as they walked away, he stayed in the back of the group and turned around and blew one back so that no one could see him doing it.  He'll love his mom no matter how old he gets . . . he tells me this on a regular basis.

Bennett really likes being at camp but is TIRED and isn't napping well.  He is go-go-go all day and I think has a hard time falling asleep when he's not in his own bedroom.  I'd dare say that he's the cutest 2-year-old I've ever seen or heard.  I love talking to him, because he has such an adult vocabulary and way of putting sentences together, but still talks like he's a 2-year-old.  I can't help but smile every time we talk.  It warms my heart just typing about it.  He loves his balance bike and scoots around on that thing faster than I think he would with pedals!

And Claire . . . sweet Claire.  I've never seen a baby as happy as she is.  It's so funny when people look at her and she smiles at them and they say, "Oh my goodness . . . she smiled at me!"  I hate to burst their bubble and say, "She'd smile at a wet rag if you held it in front of her" so I just say, "She must really like you."  She's getting playful and loves to pull the burp cloth off of her head for games of "peek a boo."  I'm thinking I'll start her on solid foods this week . . . if I find the time.  I gave her a sippy cup with water today and she liked gnawing on it.  She pushes herself in circles, but isn't really close to crawling yet.  Ben and Jack were both crawling and pulling themselves up by 6 months, so it's nice to have things move a little more slowly.  But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tiny bit guilty about the fact that she rarely has tummy time.  I don't think she's any worse off for it, though.

Life is good and I don't want to wish away the summer.  But sitting here at Panera right now, I'm thinking about how lovely September will be.

The Batmobile

Jack got this batmobile pool for his birthday and was thrilled when we had a chance to take it out this morning.  I told the boys to get in and strike their best "superhero post."

I guess I should have been more specific with Ben . . .

Claire at 5 months old . . .

At 5 months old, Claire . . .

. . . weighs 18 lbs.
. . . will sit for short periods of time unsupported.
. . . loves her exersaucer.
. . . doesn't nurse well because she spends so much time trying to engage me by smiling and giggling.
. . . love, loves her brothers.
. . . sleeps and naps really well.
. . . sucks on two fingers while she sleeps.
. . . blows out of her diaper about once a day.
. . . splashes like crazy in the bathtub.
. . . turns herself in circles on her belly.
. . . has had a little bit of banana and a little bit of avacado that I mashed up between my fingers at a restaurant.
. . . rarely cries, which is why I so love the picture above.
. . . stares at and lunges for every thing that goes into our mouths.
. . . has very sensitive skin.

Cooking with Mom

Sometimes, I'll pull Claire's high chair into the kitchen with me while I'm cooking.  Or at least I did.  I don't cook much during this time of year.



Anyway, back in April (that's the theme this week), I gave her a spatula to play with, in place of her usual toys.  She picked it up and banged it on the tray so hard that she scared herself into tears.  It was so sad.  Of course, I had to grab my camera before I offered comfort . . .

Five years

I've been flipping through pictures of the day Jack was born . . . five years ago today.  I felt a lot of things as I was looking through them, but the biggest realization to wash over me was "we had no idea what we were doing."

We really didn't.

I had read dozens of books.  I trawled websites and asked questions.  Still, on June 2, 2007, we were in totally over our heads.  I was looking at a photo of Jack laying in his crib for the first time on the day we brought him home.  I remember that moment.  I remember looking at him there and thinking, "What have we gotten ourselves into." 

But, thanks to Jesus and google, we've kept him alive and happy for five whole years.  We've officially been married with kids longer than we were married without kids. Our house is louder and messier, and I haven't had free time since . . . well, I can't even remember.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.



I love this picture.  It's not the best picture of the two of us, but it was at that very moment that my capacity to love was stretched beyond what I knew was possible.  I had already been his mother for 41 weeks already, but at that point, I actually felt like his mom.

Happy birthday, Jackson William!  I'm so grateful for you!

Happy (belated) Easter

Jack wrote an Easter book back in April . . . complete with binding made out of Cars stickers.  It was really cool, because he did it all on his own, without prompting or asking us for help.  I was proud.








He explained that the black crayon was supposed to show that it got dark when Jesus died.




This is Jesus walking out of the tomb (apparently, this is the "behind the scenes" version of the resurrection story).




And this is Jesus going up to heaven.

Makeshift ipad

Back in April, Jack was banned from the ipad for a few days . . . I don't even remember why.  If I had to guess, he and his brother were fighting over it.

Anyway, that ban inspired some creativity and he made his own.  And I think he did pretty well.

Preschool graduation

Jack's last day of preschool.  Please excuse the landscaping fail.

Compare to his first day of preschool 2 years earlier:

 And here he is at graduation with Mrs. Tippens off to the right. 

 

And of course . . . his typical preschool antics.

 

Miscellaneous . . .

This post is totally random . . . and honestly, I think I might have done a post a lot like this before.  After 5 1/2 years of blogging, I'm bound to get repetitive.

When I was nursing Claire the other day, I was thinking about how I'll always associate certain television shows with each of my children.  There were particular things that I watched a lot of through their first few months, mainly during the time I spent nursing them.

Jack was born during the summer, which meant network re-runs.  However, we still had cable back then, so I watched a lot of home improvement shows.  Flip That House, Designed to Sell, etc.  Oh, and Last Comic Standing.  Also, VH1's Best Week Ever . . . I loved that show.   I remember watching 16 and pregnant, too, and thinking about how lucky Jack was to have me.

After having a child during re-runs, I decided that planning to have Ben during network sweeps was the best decision*, so we had him in September.  Glee came out that year, so I watched a lot of that show.  Of course, I had a toddler at that point, so I spent the overnight nursing sessions working through my tivo lineup. I also watched all of the Grey's Anatomy seasons that had aired up to that point.

With Claire,  I watched all of Downton Abbey and Madmen.  Because of this, ]I fear she's developing a British accent and a smoker's cough.

I'll also associate certain foods with each of them.  When I was pregnant with Jack, I couldn't get enough of McDonald's french fries.  With Ben, Fazoli's cookies were my favorite.  And with Claire . . . pop tarts and Ghiradelli chocolates.

Random, I know.  But as they're getting older and I'm forgetting these things and I need to get them down!

*Kidding, kidding.  We didn't really plan to have Ben during network sweeps.  

Virginia Vacation

Remember that vacation we took?  To Williamsburg, Virginia?  Back in October?  I'm just now getting around to posting photos.

I'm awesome.

See more photos here.
 

Dear Claire, Month 4

Dear Claire,

Do you know how much we love you?  I sometimes sit and look at you and wonder if there's any possible way you can know.  I tell you that all the time and you just smile and gurgle.  Or make a growling noise . . . you make growling noises a lot, too.  You are a delight.



It's not just your dad and I.  Your brothers love you, too.  And you love them. Jack has been successful at making you laugh more times than anyone else.  He makes crazy noises and does funny dances.  The other night, he just looked at you and you laughed.  You think he's pretty funny.  And Ben . . . he loves you, too.  He'll lay down with you and talk to you almost every time you're playing on the floor.  Every morning, he wants a "hug and tiss" from you before he eats his breakfast.  He asks all the time if he can "tuddle" with you.  You smile so big when you see him.  You're lucky to have your big brothers.



There will come a day when you test your boundaries.  You'll disobey.  You'll talk back.  We'll have to discipline you.  There will be time outs.  It's so hard to imagine right now, but I know it's coming.  I've done this before.  Even so, we'll still love you as much as we do right now.  Actually, it's because of how much we love you that we'll discipline you.

When I think about how much we love you, my thoughts naturally drift to how much God loves us.  Our love is only a fraction of his love for you.  Our delight in you is only a shadow of the delight He takes in you.   Do you know how much God loves you?



You're growing and changing every day.  Rolling over.  Laughing.  Sitting up.  You're doing fun things and you're in a fun stage.  I could write a book on that, but I'd rather just let you know how loved you are.

Love,
Mama

Claire at 4 months old

At 4 months old, Claire . . .


. . . loves her mama.  She just stares at me and I stare back.  It's lovely.
. . . weighs 16 lbs, 10 oz. To us, she's still so little . . . about 3 pounds lighter than her brothers were.
. . . rolls both ways.
. . . is rarely where we leave her when we put her down to play.  She rolls or maneuvers herself across the playmat nicely.
. . . can sit only for a a few seconds unsupported before toppling over.
. . . makes bath time difficult by trying to lunge out of the bathtub, toward the faucet.
. . . loves laying on the changing table and chatting.
. . . thinks her dad is hi-larious.
. . . sleeps 11 hours at night.  Napping is hit or miss.
. . . is 26 inches long. That's bout 2 inches shorter than her brothers were.
. . . gnaws on her fingers like they're candy.
. . . loves Sophie the giraffe and her playmat.
. . . wears mostly 6 month and 6 - 9 month clothing.
. . . makes a funny growling noise when she hears her brothers playing "Jungle Book."
. . . has a really girly high pitched squeal that makes us laugh.
. . . curls her tongue up over her lip when she's excited or really concentrating.

Dear jack, Month 59

Dear Jack,

A few weeks ago, I was telling you something and you were arguing with me.  Actually, that happens almost every day.  But on this particular day, I finally said, "OK, Jack.  Whatever you say."  And you responded, "See.  I told you so."  In that moment, I caught a glimpse of what life with you as a teenager might be like.

You argue with us over everything.  Even things that you know nothing about.  It's like there's something inside of you programmed to challenge everything we say.  You also have trouble accepting that you might be wrong about anything.  And, if you know something, you want to be sure everyone knows that you know it.

What does all of this mean?  It means that you and I are a lot a like.  You are your mother's child.  For better and for worse.

So, from one know it all to another . . . here are a few things that might be helpful:

1.  You are not always right.  You are very, very smart.  You're right quite a bit of the time . . . but not always.  But even when you are right, sometimes it's okay to not insist upon it.  It's okay to let someone else be right.  It's good for you.  It's good for them.  Sometimes, it saves relationships.  Save the insistence on being right for the really important stuff.

2.  Save arguments for when it really matters.  If you argue over everything, people will just think that's how you are and never really listen to you. If you save your arguments for the really important things, people might be more receptive.

3.  Care about people more than you do about facts.  Ask yourself, "What will be the most loving way to act toward this person?  With the facts?  Perhaps on some occasions.  But often, they just need encouragement. So what if your brother's coloring isn't inside the lines?  Perhaps he just needs to hear that you like the colors he decided to use.  Or who cares if someone referred to The Flash as Spiderman?  Maybe she just wants someone to play with.

I totally understand the compulsions that make these things hard.  And I know . . . you're not even 5 yet.  Some of these things come with time.  But I know people who are my age and older and haven't outgrown these things.  They're no fun to be around.  I love you too much to let you become one of those people.

I love you no matter what.

Love,
Mom

Dear Ben, Month 31

Dear Bennett,

I love listening to you talk.  You are so careful and deliberate about everything that you say.  We laugh quite a bit at what comes out of your mouth.



One of your favorite words to throw around this month is "also".  It's one of my favorites, too, because you try to use it to just slide something in there as if it won't be noticed.  For instance, "Mama, I go play outside. Also, you come push me on the swings."  Or even, "I have a snack. Also, you get the cookies for me."

Over the weekend, you walked up behind me and gave me a big hug, slyly wiping your face across the back of my shirt.  I asked you if you just wiped your nose on me and you replied, "NOOOO!  Also, yes."

Nice try.



Now that you have a rapidly expanding vocabulary, you've become quite good at defending yourself against your brother.  And pushing his buttons.  Your Dad and I wondered why you guys have been fighting so much more this month than ever before, and the more we thought about it, the more we realized that the fights always had to do with 1) You not giving in to everything Jack demands of you or 2) You saying or doing something that you KNOW will push him over the edge.  I feel a little bit like a referee.

At the same time, it's really helped to strengthen your relationship with your brother.  You guys laugh together so much.  You build things and make up stories about what you've built.  You play games.  You really look up to him and you two are becoming such good friends.



Starting in June, you guys will spend more time away from each other than ever before.  It breaks my heart a little bit, and I think you might have a hard time with it, too.  But I also think you two might appreciate each other more with a little bit of separation.  It will get you ready for the fall when you start preschool and have to make new friends.

PRESCHOOL!  I can't even talk about it.  We'll save that for another letter.

I love you Ben.  Also, I think you're pretty cute.

Love,
Mama

Easter clothes

This was the best they could give me . . . and while it's not the best picture, I can't help but love it.