Chicken bits in my hair

It's no secret that I love to watch TV.

Wait, no.  I take that back . . . it comes as a surprise to people who don't know me all that well, because it's a bit of a guilty pleasure that I don't advertise that much.  But if you really start to engage me in conversation, it's bound to come up and my secret is out.  Whether it be something I saw on the news or a quote from HIMYM, the truth always comes out.  Please don't judge.  Are you judging me?  If so, just keep reading, because this post has very little to do with television. 

I have a trusty DVR to keep me entertained as I work, cook . . . or breastfeed.  One of my favorite things about the first few months of my baby's life is the excuse to lock myself in a room with just her and watch whatever I'd like.  Because of my love/hate relationship with breastfeeding, this is sometimes my motivation to keep it up.  It's well documented that I think the best time of year to have a baby is right before network sweeps.

Obviously, with each subsequent child that gets more difficult.  Right now, I'm often nursing while quizzing Jack on spelling words, pondering Ben's "what if" scenarios and/or reading "Are You My Mother" to Claire for the 55,000th time.  But during those late night nursing sessions, or when Kyle's home and I get that chance to sneak away and watch something, I savor every moment.

One show I added to the lineup this time around is the Pioneer Woman's cooking show on Food Network.  I love her blog, so I was sure I'd love her show.  I can bake pretty well, but I'm not much of a chef.  Watching her in the kitchen, though, makes me think that I can do it, too.  You just throw a little of this and a little of that into the pot, give it a stir, and viola!  A culinary masterpiece!  It's truly mesmerizing. 

On last week's show, she made chicken and noodles.  As I watched her cook and create, I was inspired.  It seemed so simple. In a moment of pure stupidity, I added it to my menu as tonight's dinner.  Why would anyone with a newborn add to her menu a meal that requires more than heating and serving?  I really don't remember how it happened.  I'll just blame Hattie.

The recipe calls for a whole chicken already cut up. They didn't have that at our local grocery stores.  I probably could have looked harder and found one, but when your baby is on a feeding schedule, and your grocery shopping trips have a very specific time limit, you take what you can get.

I asked the guy at the store if it was pretty easy to cut them up.  He looked me up and down and replied, "For me?  Yeah." 

Um, excuse me?  Challenge accepted, buddy.

I asked google for information on "how to cut up a whole chicken" and found this tutorial from the New York Times Food section that made it look so simple. Just cut here, and pop there . . . it just kind of came apart for the lady in the video.  Oddly enough, it didn't do that for me.  The fat lines are not, in fact, a "grid for where to cut", and the joints do not just "appear" when I pop bones certain directions.  That tutorial is full of lies and I'm vowing here and now to never subscribe to the NY Times. 

It was a disaster.  At one point, I considered chucking the whole thing and making something else, but this chicken gave its life for our sustenance and it would be totally ungrateful to just waste it (see that right there . . . that's from watching too much Naked and Afraid).  I got the legs off (kind of) and then just decided to throw the whole thing in the pot, NOT cut up, to see what happened.

I let the whole thing boil, and it seemed to be working out okay.  When it came time to take it out of the pot and shred the meat, I grabbed a slotted spoon that I THOUGHT would be strong enough to support the chicken, but as I was lifting it out of the pot . . . SPLASH.  That sucker fell right back into the broth, leaving my whole kitchen, and me, covered in little bits of chicken.  And chicken fat  Oh, and not to mention . . . boiling hot water.  You don't realize how greasy chicken is until you're having to wipe it off of your floor, cupboard doors and counter tops. And let's not forget that moms of littles don't get to take showers whenever they feel like it.  In fact, this post was inspired a few minutes ago when I pulled a tiny bit of chicken out of my hair. 

The meal was tasty and Jack even asked to take the leftovers in his lunch. So all's well that ends well, am I right? 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take the first of the 1,000 showers that it will take to get the chicken smell off of me.

Miscellaneous . . .

This post is totally random . . . and honestly, I think I might have done a post a lot like this before.  After 5 1/2 years of blogging, I'm bound to get repetitive.

When I was nursing Claire the other day, I was thinking about how I'll always associate certain television shows with each of my children.  There were particular things that I watched a lot of through their first few months, mainly during the time I spent nursing them.

Jack was born during the summer, which meant network re-runs.  However, we still had cable back then, so I watched a lot of home improvement shows.  Flip That House, Designed to Sell, etc.  Oh, and Last Comic Standing.  Also, VH1's Best Week Ever . . . I loved that show.   I remember watching 16 and pregnant, too, and thinking about how lucky Jack was to have me.

After having a child during re-runs, I decided that planning to have Ben during network sweeps was the best decision*, so we had him in September.  Glee came out that year, so I watched a lot of that show.  Of course, I had a toddler at that point, so I spent the overnight nursing sessions working through my tivo lineup. I also watched all of the Grey's Anatomy seasons that had aired up to that point.

With Claire,  I watched all of Downton Abbey and Madmen.  Because of this, ]I fear she's developing a British accent and a smoker's cough.

I'll also associate certain foods with each of them.  When I was pregnant with Jack, I couldn't get enough of McDonald's french fries.  With Ben, Fazoli's cookies were my favorite.  And with Claire . . . pop tarts and Ghiradelli chocolates.

Random, I know.  But as they're getting older and I'm forgetting these things and I need to get them down!

*Kidding, kidding.  We didn't really plan to have Ben during network sweeps.  

Q & A

OK, first, let me tell you how awesome it is to see the new blogs/new posts that have popped up! They may not all be because of my PSA, but I'm going to pretend they are because it makes me feel so good about myself. If you have recently started a blog (or have revitalized your existing blog) and I haven't commented, send me the link so that I can visit. I've had some questions and feedback regarding my PSA and I'll probably get to that stuff tomorrow when I've had more time to think about it.

Second, I've been getting a lot of the same questions from people regarding a few topics:

1. What kind of camera I use
2. Etsy
3. Breastfeeding
4. How I maintain my ravishing good looks

I'm going to respond to those here, so don't be offended if I don't sent you an individual response. I've become bad at answering e-mails that aren't work or business related.

1. What kind of camera do I use? I've already answered that in a post here. I've added a lens (Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L) since then. And depending on how my tax return ends up, I might have a new camera before summer. Fingers crossed. Oh! And I've also added this awesome new camera strap cover, which is almost as cool as the lens.



2. Two things have happened since my etsy business has grown. First, I get several messages a week asking for advice on starting their own etsy stationery business. My single most important piece of advice: WORK HARD. This is not easy. Just ask my husband and kids. You get out of it what you put into it. Other than that, you kind of have to figure it out on your own. I could give you step by step instructions based on what worked for me, but the truth is that it might not work for you. And even if it did, you'd miss A TON of learning opportunities on the way. I still answer the individual questions I get on this, and I dole out information on a case by case basis so don't be afraid to contact me. But don't be offended if it takes a while to get a reply.

Second, it feels like there's a big ol' target on my back. There are a few individuals who just seem to want to make my life difficult in an attempt to . . . what? Break my spirit? Insult me? I don't know. I'm a competitive person by nature, but when it comes to business stuff, I really wish nothing but success for other sellers. I don't see increased competition as a bad thing because there are certainly enough buyers to go around. But I won't feel bad about my success either. It hasn't been at anyone's expense (other than maybe my family's at times). It's been because of A LOT of hard work and I'd like to think a little bit of talent on my part. I don't ever respond to this kind of message because, well, I don't really know how to respond. I'm aggressive (AGGRESSIVE) about running my business with integrity and because of that there's really not much I can say other than, "I'm so sorry you feel that way." This has been frustrating, but this is the first and last I'll talk about it here.

3. Breastfeeding improved quite a bit. I used up my supply of frozen milk and had to supplement with formula for three or four days. I saw my doctor and she gave me lots of advice that really seemed to work. I think the best thing she did, though, is gave me permission to stop breastfeeding. It's not that I needed her permission, but I think I needed someone to look at me and say, "It's ok if you don't do this. It's ok to stop trying." I think her relieving that pressure actually helped me work through it.

My estimation is that I was down to 6 - 10 ounces a day, which wasn't great for a kid who needs 30 - 40 ounces a day. So, I pumped and nursed and pumped and nursed and took loads of fenugreek and pumped and nursed some more. My milk supply finally rebounded. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I'm glad to be nursing again.

I have seen a drop in supply again over the last few days and I've already decided that if it doesn't rebound, I'm not going through all of that again. My hope is to make it to the summer. But right now, I'm just looking to make it to 6 months. I'm just thankful to live in a day an age in which there are healthy substitutes.

4. I was kidding about the ravishing good looks thing. But I'm sure you already knew that.

Any other questions?

Bad words, rolling and breastfeeding

Congratulations to Jodi for being the first person to babysit for BOTH of my boys at the same time and living to tell about it. It's not that I was worried she wouldn't be able to handle it. I was just worried that Jack wouldn't be able to handle having her attention shared by Bennett. But everything seemed to go well and I'm glad she's available to watch them regularly!

Jack continues to be a challenge at times. It comes and goes. One some days, he's the sweetest, most obedient little boy you'll ever meet. And on others . . . watch out! Nap time and bed time prove to be the most difficult.

We had a family movie night on Saturday night and we were so excited to watch Toy Story with him. He had never seen it and it had been more years than I can count since I had. We let him pick out a snack, we put Ben to bed and popped the VHS in the VCR. I honestly couldn't believe how many times they said "stupid," "idiot" and "shut up" In that movie. So it was no surprise that Jack spent most of "nap time" yesterday in his room yelling "stupid" and "shut up." The funny thing (if there's anything funny about your toddler screaming that for two hours) is that he doesn't know what either of those things means. He just knows they're "bad words." He knows he's not supposed to say them. So, for now, we're just ignoring it and hoping that not getting a reaction from us will cause him to lose interest.

Bennett, on the other hand, is a dream. Well, as long as we don't leave the house. With Jack, we used to look for reasons to take him out because he was so much happier when he wasn't cooped up at home. Ben loves to be at home and gets cranky if we are elsewhere for too long. He's going to have to get used to it when we hit the summer, I suppose.

He rolls pretty well now . . . tummy to back and back to tummy. Oddly enough, rolling from back to tummy comes much more easily to him than tummy to back. I was browsing facebook doing something very important the other day and heard him calling for help because he had rolled himself off of his playmat, across the floor and had his feet half-lodged under the couch. Whoops. When I asked him what he was doing, he just grinned and waited for me to rescue him.

As long as he's not tired or hungry, he's SO happy. He's such a good sleeper, and in retrospect, I think Jack could have been too, if he hadn't been our first child. We're A LOT better at the sleep thing now than we used to be.

Sadly, it seems that my breastfeeding days are numbered. With Ben being sick last week, he ate a lot less than usual and slept through the night so much that my milk supply dropped quickly and drastically. And then we followed that my my flu-like mystery illness that kept me from eating or drinking much for two days and it dwindled even more. I've been feeding him every 1 - 2 hours and pumping like a maniac for days trying to increase the supply, and using my stockpile of frozen milk to help when I have nothing to offer. It's been a little emotional for me and I'll continue to try until I have nothing left, but I'm worried that day will be here soon.

I wish I could just give him a cheeseburger . . .

If you're uncomfortable with the topic of breastfeeding, I'd encourage you to read a different post. Like maybe this one about baseball. Or this one about Jack.

On Wednesday or Thursday, I was nursing Ben and Jack came up and laid his hand on my breast and said, "I'm gonna help hold his eat."

"Uh, his what?"

"His eat."

Later in the week, he told me that he wanted to help give Ben his "eaters." I guess by not giving him words to use, he just came up with his own.

Jack has had surprisingly little to say about the whole thing. I was so curious to know what questions he had and what comments he'd throw out there, but until he said that, he hadn't blinked an eye at the whole arrangement.

Those exchanges with Jack have been the only good things about breastfeeding over the last few days. Nursing has gone well from the beginning, but I was suddenly confronted with two things that are threatening to end it all: Thrush and oversupply.

If you've ever dealt with undersupply, you might be thinking, "Oversupply? That sounds great!" On one message board, someone even referred to it as a "blessing." But it isn't. From what I've read, oversupply leads to moms giving up on breastfeeding far faster than undersupply does because of the stress to both mom and baby, as well as the length of time it takes to get the problem under control. It's painful. It's stressful. Just read about it at the link, because I don't really have time to go into all of it here.

Starting on Friday, Ben stopped nursing well. He screams during feedings, eats for only 2 - 3 minutes at a time and he cried continuously until Saturday afternoon. And I am . . . well, you could just say that my cup overfloweth. SO, yeah. It's been stressful. Coupled with the thrush that he and I now both have, it's also been painful.

I have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding to begin with. I remember that it wasn't until month 2 with Jack that I really became comfortable with it, and this time around I feel the same way. I hate being the only one who can feed him. I hate pumping even more. I hate being sore. I hate that it delays post-pregnancy weight loss. On the flip side, I love the time that Ben and I spend together. I love it that he's getting something so healthy for him. I love not having to clean and sterilize bottles (especially since we only have two of them). I made it 10 months with Jack before my milk supply ran out. I was hoping to make it a full year with Ben, but I'm trying to take it a week at a time for now. It can take months to correct oversupply, and I'm not sure I can handle it that long. Also, our prescription medicine for thrush is almost out and he still has it . . . as do I.

I'm going to try one other thing, as well. You know how in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," the dad thinks that Windex cures everything? Well, when Jack was little, my mom thought every ailment or problem that he had was related to a milk allergy (sorry, mom . . . but you really did). This time, though, it might very well be adding to the problem. So, I'm trying to limit my dairy intake, as well.

I'm praying that these things will resolve themselves quickly. Like before naptime is over and he's hungry again.

Breastfeeding woes

If you're uncomfortable with the topic of breastfeeding, you may want to avert your eyes elsewhere . . . because in case you skipped right over the headline, that's what it's about. If you'd rather read something else, try this or maybe this.

I have been breastfeeding Jack exclusively for the last 7 months and 30 days. There have been ups and downs, but we're finally in the home stretch and my milk supply is beginning to wane. It's dwindling, and I can't figure out why. I know he should be getting 24 - 32 oz a day and I'm worried that he might not be. Or if he is, he's getting it all in the morning and very little right before his bedtime. I can sense his frustration when I run out and he's still hungry.

I added 2 oz of formula to 6 oz of breastmilk in a bottle before bedtime one night this week and he was up with an upset tummy for a lot of the night. Is it possible to re-establish your milk supply at 8 months? I've been pumping like crazy trying to help get things going again, but it doesn't seem to be working. In the mornings, I get quite a bit, but by evening I can pump for 45 minutes and only get 3 oz. I know that he needs more than that right before bedtime.

For now, I'm going to pump so I can spread the milk out evenly over feedings. But I miss nursing him. And I think that maybe he misses it too. I know that there's nothing wrong with switching to formula, but I'm just not read to give up.

P.S. I forgot to mention something else when I wrote this . . . at one point, I had probably a one month's supply worth of frozen milk. You know, from back when I could pump two bottle's worth in 5 minutes!

I had it stored in the Lasinoh breastmilk storage bags, according to the manufacturer's directions. Unfortunately, as I started thawing some of it (also according the manufacturer's directions, about 4 out of 5 bags leaked at the seams . . . meaning that the bags were broken and I couldn't use the milk. There was so much wasted it made me absolutely sick. It just would have been nice to have to help supplement feedings now!

Mama's lap

Poop-watch has ended

My baby has been so constipated. The doctor's office said that it's not uncommon for babies to go up to 8 DAYS without pooping before it's considered constipation. It only lasted a little more than 24 hours, but it was definitely constipation.

He most often poops when I'm nursing him. When it starts, he'll jerk his head to the side (making it feel for a brief moment as if my breast will be ripped from my chest) and start making low, throaty grunts. This continues for 3 or 4 minutes while he tries to remain latched on while thrashing around (ouch) on the boppy pillow I use for nursing. Finally, with 10 - 15 seconds of rumbling from the bottom half of his little body (a sound that can only be compared to the thunder of an approaching storm) and one last jerk of his head (again, ouch), it's over. From that point, he either continues sucking or falls into a short deep sleep. Relief!

For 24 hours or so, we went through all of the above, without the final 10 - 15 seconds. No rumbling. No thunder. Just grunting followed by squeals and moans of pain. My poor baby.

Fortunately, he had a blow out last night during dinner (ours, not his) that seemed to have solved the problem. It seems he is regular once again.

Return of the Milk Duds

Kyle took care of Jack this afternoon while I ran into town to run some errands. My first stop was Walmart . . . land of bizarre people doing bizarre things. When I walk into a Walmart, I'm usually confronted with so many crazy people and akward situations that I almost don't know where to start. Forget the movies. Bring a bucket of popcorn and sit on a bench in the grocery section for an evening of entertainment!

Anyway, today was a little different. It wasn't bizarre as much as it was sad. I have never seen so many badly behaved children in my life. I know I should never say, "My kids will never act like that," because I'll surely live to regret it. But I do hope to never react like their parents did. I heard screaming parents pretty much the entire time I was there.

The saddest story began when I saw a little boy (probably around 3 years old) wandering down an aisle yelling, "Mom?! Mom?!" I was about to pass the aisle when I saw him. I stopped and began looking around to see if there was a mother looking frantically for her child. I started walking toward the boy.

That's when I saw her.

There was a lady standing at the end of the aisle, with her back to the end cap. She seemed to be hiding but I knew that she couldn't be the mom of this little boy . . . who was crying by this point.

I walked to him, knelt down and said, "Hey buddy . . . I'll help you find your mom. Do you remember what she was wearing?"

Before he could respond, the endcap lady swung around the corner and shouted, "Don't help him!" I looked back and was completely stunned. This lady couldn't possibly know this little boy, could she?!

She grabbed the little boy (who I soon discovered was in her care) by the arm and said, "Were you scared?" He just sobbed and couldn't seem to get any words out.

"Huh? Were you scared? I hope you were scared," she grumbled. "That's what you get for walking ahead of me!" Then she proceeded to drag him down the aisle by his arm while telling him that he got what he deserves for going down the aisle ahead of her. I wanted to ask her what she deserves for letting her toddler walk ahead of her without stopping him and then deserting him.

I know that I haven't been in her shoes and I shouldn't judge her, but I was so sad for that little boy. He was so upset and there was no comfort, forgiveness or grace in his mother's eyes. He was so little.

As I was on my way out to my car it took me forever to find it. I walked up and down the parking lot lanes trying to figure out where I had parked. Unfortunately, this was not my first time ever having to do somthing like this. I kept seeing cars that looked like mine but with a different liscense plate. I finally resorted to walking up and down the lanes pressing the panic button. When I saw my car start honking and flashing, I was surprised to see it was one that I had passed several times. I had forgotten that Kyle had changed our plates over to our new ones. By this point, people were staring and wondering why I was pushing a cart full of groceries back toward Walmart. I kind of wonder if someone is blogging tonight about the bizarre girl they saw wandering the parking lot at Walmart. I guess the people I see at Walmart are probably a lot like I was in the parking lot this afternoon . . . normal people having bad days.

So, the last time I had a milk dud, I was sick. I'm sick again and have another. Coughing, achy, etc. So, which came first? Are the blocked milk ducts causing me to be sick (which is a possibility), or is the sickness causing the blocked milk ducts (which is also a medical possibility). Either way, I'd like them both to go away.

Also complicating things is my chronic shoulder pain. I hurt my shoulder my senior year of college doing "the wall" . . . a group building element in which you hoist your entire team up over a wall. I was with a bunch of girls who had no upper body strength (the fact that I ever had the most upper body strength in any given group of people is very amusing to me). I pulled most of them up and over. My shoulder hasn't been the same since.

I've been to specialists, spent thousands in (worthless) physical therapy, seen a chiropractor regularly for a couple of years and nothing has helped. When I got pregnant, my shoulder problems disappeared! Weird, right? My uneducated theory is that the hormone your body produces during pregnancy to loosen your joints to prepare you for delivery helped to loosen my shoulder and reduce the pain. Anyway, about two weeks after I had Jack, the pain returned. This week, it hurts more than it ever did before. This is not good when you're trying to take care of a 15 lb. baby. I have a hard time lifting his carrier in and out of the car or rocking him for a long period of time.

We're heading to Chicago this weekend to visit my sister. I'm hoping that all of my issues clear up by Friday . . . fingers crossed, but I'll have tylenol packed just in case.

Well, Jack's sleeping in the bassinet next to me (he's almost too long to sleep in there anymore) so I should be sleeping too. Good night.

Milk Duds

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I've been breastfeeding Jack. You'll also know that Jack likes it, but I have not always been a huge fan of it. It hurt, it was uncomfortable and I was miserable everytime I could tell he was getting hungry. Along with all of that, I felt like my breasts were the size of Rhode Island (which I realize is the smallest of all the states, but is still pretty big when you're comparing them to your breasts). My original goal was to breastfeed for a year, but I was beginning to feel like I wasn't sure that I could make it to two months.

Over the last week I realized that I had become pretty adjusted to it. I was kind of getting the hang of things and found myself looking forward to him getting hungry because in the midst of the busy day, I knew I'd have some one on one time with him. I had 1/2 an e-mail composed and saved in my "Drafts" folder on outlook to a friend of mine who had encouraged me to stick with it. It was just telling her how much better it had become . . . and that was just enough to tempt fate.

I developed a blocked milk duct and a blocked milk pore with a nice little blister over it. I've had numerous blisters before, but this one hurt a whole heck of a lot worse. I won't got into any more details than this other than to say it was (and still is) painful and uncomfortable. Breastfeeding once again has become miserable.

The real kicker is that Jack slept for 8 1/2 HOURS last night! That was a major event for us. It meant that we would have slept 8 1/2 hours last night too if it weren't for the fact that I was constantly rotating between heating packs, hot showers, pumping and warm baths. from about 4 AM on trying to get this blocked duct . . . well, unblocked.

On top of all of this, I've had a really bad cold involving congestion, coughing and a sore throat as well as a fairly painful canker sore. When it rains, it pours.

The funniest part of this whole story (if there can be a funny part) was when Debbie overheard me talking to the camp nurse about these issues. She couldn't figure out what it meant for me to have "blocked Milk Duds" rather than "ducts." At least there's something to laugh about.