Do you ever have one of those days in which you feel like you're completely ruining your children?
I've kind of felt that way this week.
I don't know what it is. A full moon maybe? Both boys are extra hyper, Jack has been horribly disrespectful and Ben has been remarkably disobedient. To top it all off, I'm stressed out and tired. I do my best to maintain a gentle, even voice when disciplining my children, but I lost it more than once today. I hate yelling at my kids.
During days like these, I feel a little bit like I'm losing them. I get emotional wondering what they'll be like as teenagers if they're like this NOW. I wonder if they'll start to resent me for all of the mistakes I make and never really understand how much I love them and want what's best for them. I'm sure the drama of all of it is heightened by pregnancy hormones, but I honestly hope I'm not screwing them up.
It's days like these that I'm learning to totally trust that the grace of God will fill in the gaps between what I provide as a parent and what they need as my children.
2 comments:
I am right there with you this week...I think Alex and Ben are about a year younger than Jack but it is a tough age and it definitely tests my patience and parenting skills. Praying you have better days soon!
Oh Sara.....this resonates with me today. (see fb status). This has been such a crazy busy 2 weeks, especially THIS week, that I've hardly been with Ezra at all, which basically means he's been with my parents WAAAAAAAAYYYYY too much (thank you TD&BK!), and then once home with me, I'm already exhausted, and.....all that ensues....it's not good. Ezra snuck a total of 5 cookies before bed last night, and guess what I did afterward? I let him crawl up onto my lap and dunk them in my glass of milk while we ate together. B/c I missed him and wanted that lap time, and I did not have the energy to discipline! Great, I'm teaching my kid he can get away with disobedience....and then we'll snuggle and share cookies afterward! GAH!!!!!
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