Do you ever have one of those days in which you feel like you're completely ruining your children?
I've kind of felt that way this week.
I don't know what it is. A full moon maybe? Both boys are extra hyper, Jack has been horribly disrespectful and Ben has been remarkably disobedient. To top it all off, I'm stressed out and tired. I do my best to maintain a gentle, even voice when disciplining my children, but I lost it more than once today. I hate yelling at my kids.
During days like these, I feel a little bit like I'm losing them. I get emotional wondering what they'll be like as teenagers if they're like this NOW. I wonder if they'll start to resent me for all of the mistakes I make and never really understand how much I love them and want what's best for them. I'm sure the drama of all of it is heightened by pregnancy hormones, but I honestly hope I'm not screwing them up.
It's days like these that I'm learning to totally trust that the grace of God will fill in the gaps between what I provide as a parent and what they need as my children.