August 25, 2011

Parenting Fail

Do you ever have one of those days in which you feel like you're completely ruining your children?

I've kind of felt that way this week.

I don't know what it is. A full moon maybe? Both boys are extra hyper, Jack has been horribly disrespectful and Ben has been remarkably disobedient. To top it all off, I'm stressed out and tired. I do my best to maintain a gentle, even voice when disciplining my children, but I lost it more than once today. I hate yelling at my kids.

During days like these, I feel a little bit like I'm losing them. I get emotional wondering what they'll be like as teenagers if they're like this NOW. I wonder if they'll start to resent me for all of the mistakes I make and never really understand how much I love them and want what's best for them. I'm sure the drama of all of it is heightened by pregnancy hormones, but I honestly hope I'm not screwing them up.

It's days like these that I'm learning to totally trust that the grace of God will fill in the gaps between what I provide as a parent and what they need as my children.


Instant Family of 4 said...

I am right there with you this week...I think Alex and Ben are about a year younger than Jack but it is a tough age and it definitely tests my patience and parenting skills. Praying you have better days soon!

Sarah said...

Oh Sara.....this resonates with me today. (see fb status). This has been such a crazy busy 2 weeks, especially THIS week, that I've hardly been with Ezra at all, which basically means he's been with my parents WAAAAAAAAYYYYY too much (thank you TD&BK!), and then once home with me, I'm already exhausted, and.....all that's not good. Ezra snuck a total of 5 cookies before bed last night, and guess what I did afterward? I let him crawl up onto my lap and dunk them in my glass of milk while we ate together. B/c I missed him and wanted that lap time, and I did not have the energy to discipline! Great, I'm teaching my kid he can get away with disobedience....and then we'll snuggle and share cookies afterward! GAH!!!!!