March 28, 2007

It takes all kinds . . .

Based on the subject, you may have thought that this blog would be a lesson in diversity. It's not. This is a blog that I posted on my myspace page about my garage sale last year. I'm thinking of having another one in a few weeks and I can't wait to see who I'll meet there!


I'm sitting at the fourth (and hopefully last) day of my garage sale. Let me tell you . . . I've seen ALL kinds of people. Let me give you a few examples:

Pants Down Lady: Probably the funniest of the weekend was this lady. She had been browsing for a few minutes when she picked up a skirt and pulled down her pants to try it on. Thats right. I had a grandma in nothing but a t-shirt and granny panties standing in my garage. The biggest disappointment was that there was no one else there to enjoy it with me . . . the first time. Thats right. She tried on another skirt a few minutes later, and there were others here to witness it.

She did NOT buy the skirt.

TMI Grandma: This lady needs more friends. She told me about everything from the women doctor who wouldnt take her as a patient (literally, that was the first thing she said to me with nothing leading up to it) to her sisters daughter who raised Peruvian horses. You have to trust me when I tell you that I did absolutely nothing to provoke these conversations.

Smoker Guy: I understand that if youre over the age of 18, you have the right to smoke . . . for now, anyway. But dont bring it into my garage. And if you do, DO NOT put it out on my garage floor and LEAVE IT! I was completely appalled.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire lady: This one must have had some sort of mental illness. Our conversation went something like this:

LLPOF LADY: How long have you lived here?
ME: A little over a year.
LLPOF LADY: Thats so nice. I used to live in this house before you.
ME: You might be thinking of a different house because it was a new construction and we are the first owners.
LLPOF LADY: Well, honey, someone lied to you, because I definitely lived here five or six years ago.

She bought close to $50 worth of stuff, so she could pretend to have lived here all she wanted. Heck, for the right price, I'd let her pretend that she was married to Kyle before me.

Creepy boy: So, I feel for little kids who are . . . well, different. And this little boy certainly is, but he creeped me out too much not to write about him. He was probably about 5 or 6 years old. He stood about a foot from my table and stared at me out of the corner of his eyes the ENTIRE time his grandma was shopping. He kept asking me why I was selling all of this stuff. My answers were never good enough for him, so he continued to ask. He was either mildly autistic and/or possessed. I was creeped out.

Sticker boy: I had left a sheet of price tag stickers sitting out on one of the garage sale tables and there I noticed a little boy take one off. No big deal, right? Well, I got distracted by a customer and about five minutes later noticed that all of the stickers on the sheet (all 24 of them) were gone. "What could the little boy have done with those," I wondered. No big deal . . . hundreds of stickers left.

As the little boy and his grandma were leaving, I looked down the driveway saw where the stickers went. All 24 of them . . . on the back of his grandma's pant leg.

Excellent supervision, grandma.

Cheapskate lady: Now, I know that people come to a garage sale to find a good deal . . . and I'm willing to deal. But there's never any reason to be rude. This lady walked around picking stuff up and yelling, "What a rip off. Im not paying that!" Seriously, 15 - 20 times.

The Talker: The talker is a really nice name for this lady, considering what she did. As she was checking out she mentioned that she was down today because her sister died this morning of cancer. Weird that she told me that? Yes. But I still felt for her and expressed my sympathy. Then she said, "Well, it wasnt actually my sister. I saw a tv show this morning about a lady who lost her sister to cancer and its really affected me as if it had happened to me." For real, lady? I was left speechless. Honestly . . . what could I say to that? I couldnt make this stuff up if I tried.

If nothing else, this garage sale stuff has made me feel a lot more normal than I did before.

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