I'm almost to my 6th week and I'm irrationally scared. Somehow tonight, I stumbled on an entire page of "reasons for miscarriage" and you'd better believe that I'm now convinced that every one of them will happen to me (even though that's impossible). Chemical pregnancies, blighted ovums, molar pregnancies . . . there really is so much to be scared of. And every description includes a line such as, "Most women have all of the symptoms of pregnancy and have no reason to think they're not pregnant when they have one of these conditions."
My mom tried to convince me last week that I'm under a lot of stress . . . even though I don't feel like it. Tonight, I'm beginning to think she's right. I've been so excited about my October 9 appointment when we'll have our first ultrasound, but now I'm downright dreading it. I feel like I need to be preparing myself for the worst. I had such a positive week last week . . . I don't know where all of this is coming from. I have just as good of a chance at delivering this baby as anyone else does.
I know that most of you who read this will be reading it weeks, maybe even months, after all of this takes place and you'll already know the outcome but pray for me anyway. I believe that God transcends everything . . . including time and that your prayers as you read this can influence me right now.
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