Life is moving faster than I can handle right now. Between work and other work and the boys and new things going on, I feel like I'm on a runaway train and I'm not sure how to stop it.
I'm going with my sister to the Oprah show on Friday (set your tivos . . . it's gonna be a good one). I think her interview is actually going to be aired on the show. This means I have to leave on Thursday . . . which is Ben's birthday. I can't begin to describe how I'm feeling about that. Kyle keeps reminding me that Ben won't know the difference, but I just feel like I'm letting him down somehow.
It's insane, I know, because I've put so much time and effort into his party on Sunday. But his actual date of birth . . . the day that means so much to me and will always mean so much to me every year . . . I'm going to miss that time with him. Even as I type this, I'm contemplating bringing Kyle and the boys so we can all be together. But Jack has school on Friday morning, so probably not.
We're going to continue our annual tradition of picking out pumpkins on the night before his birthday . . . a tradition that we started last year without knowing it. I'm looking forward to that.
I gave Ben his last bottle tonight.* Kyle made it and held it out to him and Ben burst into tears and walked away. When Kyle handed the bottle to me, however, Ben ran right over and climbed into my arms. It's so good to know that he's enjoyed these times as much as I do. And we'll continue to have our evening cuddle times, even without the bottle.
I know I'm making too big a deal over this, but I feel like it symbolizes the end of his "baby-hood" more than anything else. There's a distinct possibility that it's the last time I'll ever give one of my babies a bottle. Ugh. My heart aches a little.
On a completely different note, I wanted to share some pictures from back in August that I never got to post. I've spent so much time taking/processing other people's pictures over the last two months, that I haven't had much time for ours. C'est la vie. Here are all of our August pictures.
*Just a note: I don't have any hard and fast feelings about babies needing to be done with the bottle at a year old. We can just tell that he really doesn't need it any more and I know it'll be a harder transition for me than it will be for him. If he showed any resistance at all, I'd have no problem continuing it. And certainly if breastfeeding had lasted longer than 9 months for us, I'd probably continue nursing him . I just wanted to clarify, lest I've ever made it seem like I was judging anyone who continued the bottle past age one or that I had some sort of issue with that.