November 28, 2006

Popping out.

I'm starting to pop out a little. Before now, my clothes were just tight, but now when I look at my bare belly I can definitely see the bulge . . . well, more of a bulge than usual. Clothes still disguise it a little, but it's only a matter of time . . .

My books tell me that the baby is the size of a softball at this point (which I know is bigger than a baseball thanks to my embarassing talk with the guy at Dunham's a few years back . . . who knew there was a difference?). And when I lay on my stomach, it definitely feels like I'm laying on a softball, so no more laying on my stomach for me. I've also read that I'm not supposed to lay on my back if possible, so I'm doing my best to stay on my side at night.

I have to admit that while I'm very, very excited about this baby, I'm not really that fond of being pregnant. I've heard of women who love being pregnant . . . you know the ones that have the "glow." I might look a little like I have a glow, but it's actually a combination of acne and facial hair. I never would have guessed that something as feminine as being pregnant would cause facial hair, but it's in all of my books. The weight gain and feeling super fat isn't really that exciting either. I keep trying to think of good things about being pregnant and the only one I can come up with is the precious little baby that comes from it. I'll try to keep my mind focused on that.

My mom got me two books on pregnancy and I've been reading them nonstop. There's a lot to know. I also just bought a book on baby sleep which also seems pretty good. I'm a little worried about messing something up though. It's so hard to read all of my sources for my thesis when I have these other things I'm way more interested in.

Pray for me and my thesis. I was pretty sure that this week I was going to call and drop out of the program. I'm frustrated with writing this stupid paper, I'm not sure how we'll pay for next semester without taking out any more loans and I just don't want to do it anymore. But I also don't want to not have my master's after all of this work because I don't want to write a paper and take one more class. I think the pregnancy hormones are playing a little bit of a part in my frustration, because I end up crying at least once every time I sit down to work on it.

We had a great Thanksgiving with my parents and family at my Aunt Patti's house. Karina, Mary Jean and I went shipping early Friday morning and found some great deals. I'm not sure it was worth the early morning rise at this point, but the deals we saw were amazing for people who have kids. I'll have to keep that in mind. Having a baby really does open up a whole new world of shopping. I guess another way to say it is that having a baby really does open up a whole new world of expenses.

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