December 23, 2009

Dear Ben, Month 3

My sweet Bennett,

You are so much fun to play with. During tummy time, you'll sometimes roll to your back and yesterday morning, I caught you on your side almost all the way back onto your tummy. This new development is making diaper changes more difficult. You won't sit long in your bouncy seat anymore because you prefer sitting. Your bumbo has become a friend, but you spend most of your sitting time propped up with pillows on our bed or on my lap.

Your legs are incredibly strong! You push yourself in circles on your playmat on both your tummy and your back. You can grab onto toys dangling above you and seem to love that activity the most. Tonight, after a diaper change, I leaned down to kiss you and as I lingered there talking to you, you reached up and grabbed a hand full of my hair! And then you wouldn't let go . . . ouch.

For the most part, you've become a GREAT sleeper. We can normally put you in your crib and let you fall to sleep on your own. You're sleeping 8 hour stretches at night, and now that my busy season is over, I can actually enjoy it! Nursing is becoming increasingly difficult because, well, you're HUGE! And also because you want to look at everything in the room while nursing. I often have to turn off the television so that you can focus on the task at hand.

You are now three months old, and a happy 3-month-old at that. You have this deep raspy voice that always makes other people laugh when they hear you "talk." And last week when you started laughing out loud, we couldn't help but laugh along, because it's also deep and husky. You're such a joy to have around.

Many of these new things you're doing are called "milestones." When you're an infant, people will watch very closely to see when you reach them. In fact, that's what most people will ask about. Is he rolling over? Does he sit unsupported? Is he walking?

But the truth is that whether you take your first steps at 9 months or 18 months . . . no one really cares when you're 20. It's kind of like a high school ACT score. People make a big deal over it at the time, but it really doesn't mean much in the long run.

That said, you've begun reaching milestones left and right and I am proud. Yes, I've been through this all before with your brother, but I'm not any less thrilled with your achievement and growth than I was when Jack was your age. It's all brand new because it's YOU doing it! But it's important to me that you know that while these things do hold some importance, they aren't the things that really matter. The age at which you meet milestones means very little to me compared to the kind of person you're becoming.

It's funny to think that a year ago, I was pregnant with you and didn't even know it. I didn't even think it was possible, actually! But here you are and I can't imagine life without you. I don't think it crossed my mind last Christmas that we'd have another little boy to celebrate with next year . . . what a blessing you are.

At the beginning of this month, I was rocking with you in your room and you were startled when we heard Jack run by. Because Jack doesn't walk through the house. He runs. Everywhere. And when he runs, it sounds like a heard of elephants charging. It's a wonder that you sleep at all. But I continued to rock with you and was thinking about how not so long ago, I was doing the same thing with your brother. Rocking that little boy who was now barreling down the hallway in fits of laughter trying to escape your father.

As I was listening to that, and rocking you, I realized that it won't be long before you're running up and down the hallway in fits of laughter. It made me hold you a little bit closer. You're growing so fast and if I could slow you down, I just might. But because I can't, I'm trying to take it all in and enjoy every moment that I can.

I'm so glad that you're here. I love you, Ben. Merry Christmas!


No comments: