What's an Endoscopy Like?

I realize that the title of this post is a little "textbook" but it's the exact phrase that I googled last Thursday night, and I didn't find many helpful answers.  So, if you've come here by way of that search term . . . you're welcome.

I've been having difficulty swallowing for . . . oh, about a year now. It's become progressively worse, so last fall, my doctor scheduled an upper GI endoscopy.  She assumed it was a narrowing of the esophagus, and that it just need dilation. She talked as if it was no big deal, but from that moment forward, I was dreading endoscopy day.

It was originally scheduled for October, but everyone in my family was throwing up the day before my appointment, so I rescheduled for February. I was supposed to go in last Thursday, but we got all the snow, so they bumped me to Friday.

Let me just preface the rest of this by saying that it was a really easy, painless procedure. I had these visions of gagging on a camera being shoved down my throat while two nurses and my husband struggled to hold me still. I probably imagined it that way because it's what happens every time I take one of my kids to get a shot. Really, though? It was so simple.

After I checked in, they took me back and I had to disrobe and gown up. They put sticky heart monitors on me and started an IV (Kudos to that nurse. I didn't even realize he'd started it when I saw him taping it down. The last IV I'd had was when I was in labor with Hattie and it took them multiple attempts before they eventually contacted someone from the vascular department.).  After checking my vitals and going over the typical risks and permission forms, they told me they'd be back to get me soon.

About 10 minutes later, they wheeled me back into a room with lots of screens and machines. The tech and the nurse showed me the equipment (which I was already very familiar with, thanks to my googling the night before) and then began to prep me as we waited for the doctor. They took my vitals again, put an oxygen cannula in my hose and sprayed a NASTY tasting spray at the back of my throat to numb my gag reflex.

They had me roll onto my left side and propped me up that way. They started a drug into my IV, and the rest was kind of a blur. I have a faint memory of kind of gagging and I remember the doctor saying "biopsy" and that's it. The next thing I knew, they were moving me to my back and the doctor said, "That's it!" As they were wheeling me to recovery, I remember thinking, "Wow, I thought I'd go to sleep, but I was awake for the whole thing." But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't remember much at all. When I tried to remember what happened, it felt like trying to recall a dream.

When they brought Kyle back to see me, all I could fixate on was that I'd heard the doctor say "biopsy." I wasn't 100% sure if that memory could be trusted. They eventually brought in a report and went over it with both of us. They found no narrowing of my esophagus, but took 6 biopsies of suspicious looking areas in my esophagus and stomach. It could be a week or two before we get results, but the phrase "eosinophilic esophagitis" was thrown out there . . . which is a very specific name for something rather broad and nonspecific.

So, I'm waiting. March is so busy, that I don't have a lot of time to stress about it. I have two fears: 1) That they'll come back and tell me that I have something horrible and life altering or 2) THey'll say, "We don't really know what's wrong. You'll just have to deal forever with having difficulty swallowing."

But that's not really the point. The point of this post is this: upper GI endoscipies? Not that bad.

Maybe it's just winter

It is well documented that January is my least favorite month of the year. February, however, is giving it a run for its money this year.

We had two weeks of stomach flu. Fun!

Kyle had surgery to break up 1" worth of kidney stones, which resulted in 5 days of excruciating pain trying to pass them, and one day trip to the Emergency Room. This whole ordeal deserves an entire post of its own.

To cap it all off, I had an endoscopy on Friday, which revealed 6 areas of "suspicious tissue" that had to be biopsied. Double fun!

This month (truthfully, the last year or so) has been lonely and difficult.

Despite all of that (or maybe because of it), I've felt this stirring in my soul. I was driving home from camp on February 1, and felt it for the first time. There's something moving in me. Changing. Growing, perhaps?  I read a quote from Christine Caine last week that said:

"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted."

This quote gave me hope and new perspective. Maybe I haven't been forgotten and alone for the last year; maybe it's just winter.

Spring is coming.

three-two

Goodbye early thirties. Hello mid-early thirties. Today at 10:08 AM I turned 32.

The social norm is for me to cringe every time I'm reminded that I'm another year older, and shudder at the thought of my mortality. But I can't.

I'm in such a good place right now. Perfect? No. Do I have everything figured out? Not quite. But life is really, really good. This year has been Hard. Capital "h" intended. But I'm on the other side and things are looking up.

I have two incredible boys and they're both in really fun stages right now. Neither of them are pushing limits or driving us crazy (at this point, at least). I get to work side by side with my husband at jobs to which we feel called with a staff that challenges us and encourages us as much as we do them. We live in a house that we love and continues to be exactly what we need. We have great extended families and a decent network of friends.

I'm blessed, simply by the fact that I have life and breath. Everything else is a huge bonus.

Discover your strengths

During my senior year at Greenville, the "powers that be" introduced a relatively new program that they wanted to start using the following year on campus. I was able to take the StrengthsFinder inventory before I graduated and the information has been insightful. Unfortunately, I wasn't around to see how strengths-based education panned out, but I know they're still using it so something must be working.

Why am I bringing this up now? Marcus Buckingham (one of the founders and authors of this initiative) will be on Oprah tomorrow. The theme is "I Hate My Job Interventions." I can't guarantee that the information will be valuable, but I think it probably will be. Set your tivo just in case!

What are my signature StrengthsFinder themes? Thanks so much for asking:

Winning Others Over (WOO)
People who are especially talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

Communication
People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

Empathy
People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others' lives or others' situations.

Activator
People who are especially talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.

Strategic
People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

May you be a 'yes' . . .

"May you be a 'yes' to the question, 'Has Jesus risen from the dead?' And may you come to see - may you understand that you are the good news. You are the gospel." -Rob Bell, Nooma, You, 015


Happy Easter!