Dear Bennett, Month 20

Dear Ben,

You're going to be a big brother.

Long before Dad and I told anyone else our big news, I had conversations with you about it. You're the best secret keeper I know . . . for now, at least. I asked if you wanted to be a big brother and you responded with your usual "Uh-huh!" You didn't really know what I was asking, but I hope your enthusiasm continues through December.

About 10 minutes after I found out I was pregnant, my thoughts wandered to you. How will you react? How will you feel being the middle child? Your brother had all of my attention for almost 2 1/2 years, and now, right before he'll head to school and you would have had my undivided attention, we'll have a new little one. Will you understand why so much of my time will be diverted from you? Will you be jealous? Will you care? Will you resent a new little person in our family?

One thing I do know for sure is that you're going to be a great big brother. I really did think that you might be the youngest child in our family, but I'm so glad you'll have a chance to care for a younger sibling. Your little brother or sister is going to be so lucky to have you. I can't wait to see you in this new role.

No matter how many brothers you have, or how old you are or where you fall in birth order . . . I want you to know that you are so special to me. You're the only Ben I have and I can't imagine my life without you. You're smart, funny, compassionate and inquisitive. You bring so much joy and I love you more than words can say.

Love,
Mama