Dear Ben, Month 9

Dear Bennett,

On Thursday afternoon, I was home alone with you. We haven't been home much because, well, it's summer and we just aren't home much during the summer. So when we are, it's like an entirely new world to explore and new toys to play with. And as much as you love your brother, you seem to enjoy any alone time, because he's not there to rip toys from your hands or try to ride you like a horse.


We lose track of you quite a bit because you get around so fast now. And now that you're cruising every where and can a few steps on your own, your horizons have been expanded and you've discovered many new areas of our home.

So on Thursday afternoon, you discovered the kitchen cabinets and doors. And shortly after you discovered how easy it is to pinch your fingers in them because the safety locks only let them open about an inch.


Each time you did it, you'd cry and I'd pick you up and put you back in the living room. And you'd crawl right back into the kitchen and do the whole thing over again. After three times, you decided that it wasn't worth it anymore. You crawled to the cabinet door, and opened it carefully, examining and it looking for ways to get to what was inside without pinching your fingers. But you couldn't figure it out and moved on. Ben: 0. Child safety locks: 1.




I sat there watching the whole thing, totally in awe of how much you've developed over the last 9 months. You've gone from this helpless blob, dependent on us for everything, to this capable little boy . . . still dependent on us, but becoming more and more independent by the day.

As I was watching you pinch your fingers in the cabinet, I wondered if I should do something to keep it from happening . . . but I didn't. Some things you need to learn the hard way. It took you three tries, but you eventually figured out that when you try to get into that cabinet, your fingers get pinched. And what I knew that you didn't know is that the things inside of the cabinet could cause much more harm than pinched fingers. I was ok with you learning the hard way because it ultimately protected you from a much greater danger.


I know, I know . . . you're only 9 months old. Maybe I should have put a chair in front of the cabinet or move the gate so that you couldn't get to it. I really don't know. But I know there will be many things in your life that are best learned on your own. And while sometimes, as your Mom, it's my job to step in and protect you, at other times, it's my job to stand back and watch.

Because while it may cause a little bit of pain and discomfort now, it's saving you from much greater danger in the future. Rest assured that no matter what . . . I'll always be there to kiss your pinched fingers along the way.

I love you, Bennett!

Mama