March 3, 2017

On Losing My Mind

I've been sitting in my office for 30 minutes now, just staring. Staring at the computer screen, staring out the window, staring at the blank walls. Every couple of minutes, I'll stop staring long enough to pick one of the split ends from my hair and then I go back to staring.

I've completely lost my mind.

I'm just getting over the worst flu I've ever had. I think it was the flu. At the very least, it was a flu-like virus. The aches were unreal. And you know how when you get sick, you feel yourself hit rock bottom and then start to feel a little better each day after that?  Well, with this flu I hit rock bottom and stayed there for a while. And then after five days of pure misery, I got a tiny bit better each day. I had 11 total days of fever. I alternated tylenol and ibuprofen, but this flu just kind of laughed at my attempt to keep the symptoms at bay and kept doing its thing.

This was with ibuprofen and tylenol. I learned very quickly not to let it run out.
The worst part of the whole thing is that Kyle had it, too. As did 3 of the 4 kids . . . Claire was the only one spared (but she ended up with strep toward the end of the whole ordeal). I'd like to think that I had it worse than Kyle because he was the one who managed to keep the house running, but the truth is that he's just a better parent than I am.

She spent a lot of time at doctor's visits with us.
The remnants of the flu are almost out of my system. Today was the last day of antibiotics for the secondary sinus infection that developed (I couldn't eat because my teeth hurt so bad) and I still have a little bit of a cough left. But I cannot figure out how to get my motivation back.

Laugh all you want. It's the only attachment we had for the nebeulizer. It got the job done.
I'm a very motivated person and can juggle quite a bit at once, but I lost that somewhere in the last two weeks. I can't prioritize everything on my to do list. I just can't think.  Is it just a fog left from the flu? Or is it a fog from being 38 years old? Kyle's theory is that it's a fog from pushing myself too hard for the last few years . . . and this was my breaking point.

Catching up on homework.
Whatever it is, it needs to move on. I've got things to do.

No comments: